A LEWD, LASCIVIOUS LOOK AT OUR LOCAL LAW LIBRARY.
They say that lawyers are a breed apart. In fact, we should wonder if they are really even be considered a part of the human species at all, especially as evidenced by a peek at these books found at our local campus law library:
Famous Humanistic Lawyers- A three page book; one of those being the title page and the other the Table of Contents.
How To Sue Anybody For Anything Anytime- A bestseller
Lawyer Love Stories- only two volumes and mostly pornographic.
Law Ethics- A slim volume that is rarely checked out.
Law Poetry- Non existent.
Law And Censorship- Banned.
Philosophy And Its Implications For Law- Barely read because no one understands it.
Fond Nostalgic Memories Of Lawyers- Stories of strip clubs and all night binges.
Classical Law Literature- So moldy its pages fall apart.
Law Pornography- The most checked out book at the library.
Being A Lawyer For Dummies- The second most checked out book in the library.
The Moral Responsibility Of Lawyers- An obsolete volume being sold used in the book
store for 50 cents.
Anarchistic Law- What all the law students secretly read and dream about but would
never admit to.
Greed And Power- What Is Wrong With That Anyway?- Always checked out.
Getting Rid Of The Constitution- An Important Step In Maximizing Our Income And
Our Power Over The System- Considered a modern classic.
Humanistic Law- and other mythical entities.
The Honest Lawyer- A fairy tale.
Why Steven Spielberg Named The Shark In Jaws After His Attorney- A rare instance of
The Scopes Monkeys Trial- the day the monkeys won.
How To Get Your Conscience Out Of The Way Of Your Making Money- A self help
guide for rabid lawyers.
Sizing Up Your Client- How To Shakedown The Patsy Mentally Before You Even Take Him On As A Client- A bestseller.
Getting Money Out Of The Government (They Are Just A Big Pushover)- A bestseller.
How To Squeeze Money Out Of Even The Poorest Of Clients- A bestseller
International Law; The Fine Art Of Screwing People In Other Countries In Other Languages For Other Money- A bestseller.
How To Grind Someone's Balls To Dust Legally- A bestseller.
Ruining Other Peoples Lives For Fun and Profit- A (need we even say it?) bestseller.