Written by Your truthiness
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Mitt Romney is standing by his statement on 60 Minutes about healthcare for the poor.

Questioned later by myself and other reporters, he clarified his meaning. "No other country comes close to caring for the miscreants of society as well as the US does. We are now, and always have been, the best at everything; not to mention running the Olympics (snark, snark)." The snark was heard clearing by this reporter who was so visibly shaken Romney asked me if I needed someone else to call 911 for me.

Romney continued with his insistence on America's greatness and love for its lowest levels of humanity. "Our hospitals, depending on the state of course, has large waiting rooms and a water fountain. There is usually a restroom somewhere in the facility where if you have to puke or have uncontrollable diarrhea due to ebola, you are welcome to useā€¦for free mind you. Show me another country that has that kind of service."

"Well, nearly all of them Mr. Romney. And what about the 12 hour waits in the ER.

"What's 12 hours to an unemployed, welfare sponge. Or some old tired senior whose regular medicare doctor doesn't work past five. What else are these folks going to do? Knit? Watch TV on their flat screens? There are magazines to read in the lobbies, magazines the hospitals graciously offer."

"Some of these poor people can't read," I said.

"There are pictures to look at."

"But many of the magazines are years old. The hospitals don't always keep up."

"Right there is what's wrong with these people. Ingratitude."

"What about food?" I asked. "You mentioned these people want to eat."

"What is it with you people and your food. Most of them can live off their fat. Pick up some seeds somewhere and grown them in your apartment's small grassy knoll. "

With that, he picked up a muffin from a nearby table and walked out.

Not even a wave goodbye

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

55 readers are online right now!

Go to top