Written by dulcie gabbani
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Friday, 31 August 2012

image for Local council to be computer free by 2013

A leaked internal memo from Saddleworth Council has been delivered to Spoof HQ. Its contents show that the council aims to be computer free by 2013, when all I.T staff will be re equipped.

The document reads as follows:

The Saddleworth Council I.T Systems Committee has defined a lower cost alternative to the previously planned Windows 8 system conversion.

All computers will be removed from the desktop by January 1, 2013

From January 1, 2013 all I.T staff will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound and viable reasons for this decision:

1. No system crash problems.
2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing e-mails.
4. Reduction in technical support calls will reduce our costs.
5. Reduction in hardware costs.
6. Elimination of all software license fees.
7. Reduction in the amount of training necessary for new staff.
8. Can be used away from the office due to its extreme portability.
9. Extremely low cost makes them disposable
10. No need for electricity, makes it cheaper to operate, and is good for the planet.

In anticipation of the questions some of you will undoubtedly have
regarding operating the new system, we have prepared a list of the most Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

Q. My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the
screen.
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What's the shortcut for Undo?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I create a New Document window?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A. Don't pick it up and shake it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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