Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Thursday, 30 August 2012


Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Hello Ann. Are you there?
9:01 a.m.

Ann Romney: Yes, I'm here. How are ya Lizzy?
9:04 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I'm great. And girlfriend let me say that I watched your GOP National Convention speech and you did fantastic.
9:09 a.m.

Ann Romney: Thanks Lizzy. You don't think that I over did the color red do you?
9:12 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: No ma'am. And let me say that your lipstick matched your red dress perfectly.
9:16 a.m.

Ann Romney: Originally Mitt wanted me to wear turquoise in honor of our nation's Cherokees, Arapahoes, Apaches, Pawnees, and Seminoles. But I told him that I thought it would be more appropriate if I wore red in honor of our red states.
9:21 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Oh red for red states. Wow! It did not dawn on me. I guess that must be the blonde in me.
9:27 a.m.

Ann Romney: Ah Lizzy, sweety, in case you didn't notice, I am also a blonde.
9:33 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Oh dammit! I forgot. I'm sorry Annie.
9:38 a.m.

Ann Romney: Lizzy, am I going to have to wash out your mouth with soap?
9:42 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: No ma'am. I'm sorry. I guess I have just spent way too much time around Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. Those two Democrats can cuss up a storm and put a tuna boat crew to shame.
9:48 a.m.

Ann Romney: Well I better get going. I have to get ready for a Republican brunch with The Organization of American Rich People.
9:52 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Okey dokey Annie. Hey just one more question before you go...
9:58 a.m.

Ann Romney: My bikini thongs and bra were also red.
10:03 a.m.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I thought so. Bye Ann and keep in touch.
10:09 a.m.

Ann Romney: Ditto kiddo.
10:13 a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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