Written by rfreed
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Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for Hey, Where Are All The Religionists Now That A Hurricane Is Bearing Down On The Republicans In Tampa? God's wrath on the Republicans?

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!

Where are all the Hellfire and Brimstone preachers at?

Where are they when you need them?

A hurricane is bearing down on the Republican National Convention and you don't hear a peep out of them.

Are they out hiding their heads under a rock?

If it were the Democratic National Convention you would surely be hearing that it was God's wrath descending upon them for their many sins.

Even more so were it a delegation of Feminists For Freeing Womanhood or Unitarians Assembly For Discussing Free Will, or, if they would have the nerve to do it, Abortionists For Free Trade In America.

But no, no analogies to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah are being spouted. Suddenly they are willing to go along with scientists and say that it is merely the weather. They sure didn't do that when the planes hit the Twin Towers on 911. Nooooooo…… it happened because the people of New York sinned. (Isn't New York the place where sin was modified, reinvented and modernized?) And when an earthquake rock and rolled Haiti the God mouthers all sermonized that it was the islands marriage to voodoo customs that brought the destruction down upon them. Maybe that is it, they know that the hurricane is going to hit Haiti first. They can just blame it all on them again. Haitians can't make a retort, they all speak French.

Oh, I know why. It is because the Convention is in the deep South, the Religious Rights own stomping ground. God forbid any thing bad be said about their own Promised Land. No, they are all as innocent as lambs. And we all know what lambs are raised for. To be fleeced their whole lives. Gotta keep those tithes coming in to pay for the new church. And to pay off the mistresses illegitimate child.

Nah, there's no sinning going on at the Convention. The prostitutes are just working overtime 'cause it is still tourist season. And the booze is flowing like the Everglades emptying into the Gulf of Mexico. But that is not called sin by the Rightists. That is just called helping the economy of Tampa.

But then again, maybe another religion is at work here. If the hurricane were to hit the Republican National Convention maybe it would be karma at work. Someone has to pay for all those people suffering from not being able to get medical care. Or from having their leg blown off in a war that never should have happened in Iraq. Or for just being dicks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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