Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Saturday, 11 August 2012


President Obama: Hey Joey, did you see who "Old Mittens" finally picked to be his vice-presidential running mate?
8:01 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: Yeah Barry, I just heard about it on CNN. And let me say that today is our lucky day.
8:05 a.m.

President Obama: You got that right bud. Paul Ryan? Can you believe that out of all of the fairly good choices the old Mormon had, he picked a Wisconsin fella who looks like a mockingbird and who is anti-union, anti-Medicare, anti-middle class, and anti-senior citizens?
8:09 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: And don't forget that the Cheese State native is also anti-cheese.
8:11 a.m.

President Obama: Un-freakin-believable! That's like that old English judge on Dancing With The Stars Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman saying he hates crumpets.
8:13 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: And boss, someone just told me that with that silly looking widow's peak, Pauly looks like an old Eddie Munster.
8:16 a.m.

President Obama: Tsk-tsk. Good one partner! Damn if he don't. Ya know Joey, I had my chief secret service agent Laramie Cobalt go down to Louisiana and meet with the greatest voodoo woman in the entire world, Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette. And she put a curse on Romney that would cause him to pick the worst possible choice, and dadgummit if that woman didn't come through.
8:19 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: Barry, I have no idea how much you paid her, but it was certainly well worth it and I personally think that you should write her a letter telling her not to worry about paying taxes for the next four years.
8:24 a.m.

President Obama: Joey boy, this brutha is way ahead of you dude. I've already spoken to the IRS and left my directive plus I just got off the phone with the director of Fort Knox and I am making arrangements to present Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette with a commemorative gold bar.
8:29 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: Sir, how about I plan a good old-fashioned White House backyard barbecue for the wonderful woman?
8:33 a.m.

President Obama: Great idea pal. And also make arrangements to have Air Force One pick her up and fly her back home.
8:38 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: Oh and one more thing Mr. President, before I run over to the post office and buy some stamps. Have you given anymore thought to that raise I asked you for two weeks ago?
8:43 a.m.

President Obama: Yes I have my brutha from another mutha. And be advised that you will notice a pretty good increase in your next paycheck.
8:47 a.m.

Vice-President Biden: Thank you Mr. President. And let me say that you are the Usain Bolt of politics.
8:51 a.m.

President Obama: Wow! That is quite a compliment. And you Joey Biden are the Misty May-Treanor of vice-presidents.
8:53 a.m.

Paul Ryan: Hey fellas, just who the hell was it who said that I look like Eddie Munster?
8:59 a.m.

Paul Ryan: Hello Mr. President?
9:09 a.m.

Paul Ryan: Hello Joey?
9:13 a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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