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Thursday, 2 August 2012

Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters
The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome.

Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley.
The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men,
Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up.

The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football.
Although half of the crowd were men hoping the teams would exchange shirts at the end of the game.

Andy Carroll has not travelled with Liverpool for Thursday's Europa League qualifier against FC Gomel in Belarus.
(BBC Sport)
Coincidentally the last person seen in Belarus with a ponytail was a stripper called Carrol Handy.

West Ham are preparing a staggering £36 million, 8 year deal for Andy Carroll to persuade him to choose them over Newcastle if he leaves Liverpool.
(Daily Mail)
If West Ham run out of cash (again) the deal will include all three world cup medals of Booby Moore, Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters, free pie and mash in Green Street every day after training and the Olympic Stadium renamed 'The Andy Carroll Stadium'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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