Written by Inchcock
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Monday, 6 August 2012

image for Selected Political News for W/E 5th August 2012 + comments Would you trust this man?

Monday 30th July 2012

Topic: Benefits

Headline:

Source: The Sun

Extract: 900,000 Brits have been on the sick for more than ten years - with hundreds claiming cash for obesity, headaches and even ACNE.

And there are virtually no checks to see whether the 885,100 people who have received incapacity benefit for a decade still need it.

The figure includes 22,640 alcoholics and drug abusers, 69,520 people with back pain and 140,180 who have bouts of depression.

The weekly handout, worth £99.15 after 12 months, is aimed at helping Brits who cannot work due to illness or disability.

But ministers say the lax system means that many have wrongly been given a life on benefits.

The latest figures - for November 2011 - show that 670 have claimed the handouts for more than ten years because of obesity and 580 with eating disorders.

Other long-term claimants include 350 with varicose veins, 10 with acne, 1,020 with headaches and 20 with conjunctivitis. Another 220 have been on the sick for more than a decade with repetitive strain injury - and 10 with NAIL DISORDERS!

Comment: I'm gob-smacked!

Tuesday 31st July 2012

Topic: Immigration

Headline: "Polygamists Immigrant's can live Wife of Riley"

Source: The Sun

Extract: Immigrants with more than one wife will get additional benefits cash due to a loophole in the Government's welfare reforms.

Their extra wives will count as single people rather than spouses under the Universal Credit system, meaning they qualify for extra money.

Under current rules, men and their first wives can claim the standard couple rate for income support of £111.45 while other spouses living under the same roof get an extra £38.45 each.

Treating other wives as single claimants will push up the total household income - although it is not yet clear how much each family will get under Universal Credit which is introduced next year.

The details emerged in a House of Commons library paper. The Coalition wants to stop recognising polygamy in the welfare system.

The practice is illegal in Britain unless the marriages took place in countries where it is permitted.

A Department for Work and Pensions spokesman said: "It would be wrong for the benefits system to legitimise these arrangements by recognising them in any way."

Asian crossbench peer Baroness Flather blasted the proposed change. She said: "We should prosecute one or two people for bigamy, that will sort it out."

Comment: I'm so glad for them too!

Wednesday 1st August 2012

Topic: Boris Johnson - Farce

Headline: Boris Johnson left hanging on zip wire during Olympic event

Source: BBC News

Extract: The Mayor of London Boris Johnson was left dangling on a zip wire for several minutes when it stopped working at an Olympic live screen event.

He was trying out a 45m (150 ft) high zip wire at Victoria Park, where the Games are being shown on big screens.

The wire then lost momentum, leaving him suspended "like an odd Christmas decoration" above a crowd of people.

As onlookers snapped photos, he joked: "This is great fun but it needs to go faster."

Lee Medcalf, who was at the event, said: "When Boris came down the zip wire, it was very James Bond-esque with him shouting 'Team GB!'.

"However, he seemed to lose momentum and was left hanging there like an odd Christmas decoration for about five to 10 minutes.

Comment: A rare laugh for a change. I hope Ken Livingstone is made aware of this farce?

Thursday 2nd August 2012

Topic: NHS

Headline: "More GPs suggesting patients go private as NHS cuts bite"

Source: The Mirror

Extract: Almost 60% of GPs are suggesting patients go private - an increase of 24% in a year - as NHS cuts bite into hospital treatment.

The family doctors asked people seeking referrals whether they have health insurance, private firm Spire Healthcare found.

Critics claimed the findings are fresh evidence patients are being forced to pay.

Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham said: "This is frightening evidence of just how quickly the NHS is breaking up as a direct result of David Cameron's right-wing reorganisation.

Comment: My hero Nye Bevan will be turning in his grave!

Saturday 4th August 2012

Topic: Political funding

Headline: Party funding: Tories, Labour and Lib Dems suffer fall in 2011 income

Source: BBC News

Extract: The Conservatives, Labour and Liberal Democrats all suffered a fall in income in 2011, official figures have shown.

The parties received substantially lower donations compared to sizeable war chests they built up in 2010 to fight the general election.

However, the SNP's income more than doubled to £5m as the party was given two £1m donations.

The details were included in the parties' 2011 financial accounts published by the Electoral Commission. Click here

Comment: Ah, the poor little lambs!

Sunday 5th August 2012

Topic: George Osborne - Miss Whiplash - Dominitrix - Biography

Headline: Chancellor of the Sexchequer? New book to lift lid on Osborne's links to dominatrix

Source: The Mirror

Extract: "Miss Whiplash" Natalie Rowe earlier made unsubstantiated claims she snorted cocaine with the Tory MP during his hedonistic youth!

An explosive new book will lift the lid on George Osborne's friendship with a former vice queen.

The biography will cover the time the Chancellor - who was pictured tucking into fish and chips on holiday in Cornwall this week - spent with ­dominatrix Natalie Rowe in the early 1990s.

Natalie, 47, who worked under the name Miss ­Whiplash, has previously said she and Mr Osborne snorted cocaine together - a claim the Chancellor strongly denies.

But, embarrassingly for Mr Osborne, the book will revive speculation about his ­hedonistic lifestyle as a young man and his friendship with Miss Rowe. Written by journalist Janan Ganesh, The Age of Osborne is expected to be released on the eve of the Tory party conference in October.

Comment: I can't wait for it to come out!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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