Written by Inchcock
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 21 July 2012

image for Selected Political News for W/E 21st July 2012 - with comments Friday: Neville Chamberlain famous quote!

Monday 16th July 2012
Topic: Tony Blair - Politics
"Tony Blair announces that he would be returning to British politics"
Source: Express
Extract: Blair announced that he would be returning to British politics last night to contribute to Labour policy as an adviser.
The former Prime Minister, who was attending an event alongside Labour leader Ed Miliband announced that he would contribute to a Party review of sporting policy in the wake of the Olympics.
Ed Miliband, who has been trying to distance himself from the former leader, is set to share the stage with him.
Mr Blair gushed about Miliband giving a high profile endorsement of his successor-but-one.
Speaking to an audience of sporting figures at the pre-Olympics dinner at Arsenal's Emirates Stadium in north London, Mr Blair said: "We have here tonight many successful icons.

Comment: Blair returning to UK politics? Horrific, scary, frightening, chilling, distressing, soul-destroying, and gruesome news!

Wednesday 18th July 2012
Topic: London Olympics
"Athletes will turn London 2012 into the Sex Games"
Source: The Star
Extract: Olympics Organisers have arranged for a record 150,000 free condoms to be packed into dispensers around Games' venues.
And women's football goalkeeper Hope Solo, who won gold with the US team in China, reckons they will be an essential part of the athletes' kit.
She revealed there was wall-to-wall sex at the Beijing Games, and the action is set to be even wilder in the less-stuffy UK.
Organisers are shipping in 50,000 more condoms than were available in China. Hope, 30, predicted: "There will be a lot of sex going on."

Comment: Jealous.. me? Yes!

Thursday 19th July 2012
Topic: Olympics security fiasco
"Ed Miliband urges police outsourcing rethink after G4S 'fiasco'"
Source: BBC News
Extract: Labour leader Ed Miliband is to urge the government to rethink plans to outsource more police services to private companies in light of the G4S Olympic security "fiasco".
In a speech he will call the discovery that too few staff were in place to guard venues a "scandal".
And he will call for a halt to all new policing contracts until there had been a review of G4S's "ability to deliver".

Comment: Another limp-wristed attack on the Government's failings from Ed - did Blair advise him?

Friday 20th July 2012
Topic: London Olympics - Security
"Coe promises 'safe and secure Games'"
Source: BBC News
Extract: "We have got the numbers, courtesy of the military and our police services," he told BBC Radio 4's Today programme.
An extra 3,500 troops were drafted in last week after security firm G4S admitted a shortage of staff, and a further 1,200 troops are on standby.
Arriving at Heathrow, International Olympic Committee head Jacques Rogge has said he is "confident" on security.

Comment: Oh, that's nice to know. *British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774 Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force? *Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30th, 1938 I believe it is peace for our time? *Herman Goering, No bombs will ever fall on Berlin? *Neville Chamberlain 1938, However much we may sympathise with a small nation confronted by a big and powerful neighbours, we cannot in all circumstances undertake to involve the whole British Empire in a war simply on her account.

Saturday 21th July 2012
Topic: Gordon Brown
"Gordon Brown raked in £114,998 of taxpayers' cash last year - on top of his £65,738 MP salary"
Source: The Sun
Extract: He took advantage of a special allowance aimed at helping ex-PMs with "public duties", claiming just £2 less than the £115,000 limit.
He has spoken in the Commons only THREE times since May 2010.
Mr Brown is also writing a second book and has earned £1.4million from speeches and teaching. He insists all the money went to charity.
Tory Rob Wilson said the public should be told which "ex-PM duties" Mr Brown was performing.

Comment: Bless him!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

59 readers are online right now!

Go to top