See previous chapters in satire section of thespoof.com
Chapters One - Three
Buster Fuckhead's childhood wasn't no crystal stair. Surely an insightful reader like yourself has suspected that a person does not end up regularly drunk, cynically resolute and insanely fixated on the ugliness of the human laugh without some kind of abusive story. So tighten your seatbelt, whether you are in an aged minivan or some other vehicle terrestrial or extra, for the background story of our sarcastic satyricon.
Buster was sired by a NYC cabbie. This cruel sperm donor found a "wonderful" Gypsy woman who offered to dance for him for a small fee during his not unusually sexually frustrated adolescence in the 1950's South Bronx of NYCity.
You see, one could end up driving a cab, pimping a whore or pushing a drug quite early in life in the underground economy of the Big Apple in those daze! But this was no usual gypsy girl and in fact this was not your average run of the mill street "entrepreneur".
Dad - an honors student at the local Catholic Grammar school Our Lady of Pity (oh yes a bit precocious in sexual interest and IQ). Mom - a scion of a traveling band of gypsy fortune-tellers (pickpockets, "exotic" dancers [before there were local, neighborhood strippers] and con artists.
Out of this incredibly rich and eccentric (the best kind) gene pool crawled the troublesome offsping (often thought to be a loose spring) Buster Gerard Magellan Fuckhead. And oh was he trouble!
His taxi chaffeuring "Dad" felt regularly compelled to shave the head of said progeny for his sundry and varied mishaps and miscreant capers. Like a tragic passenger aboard the taxi-esque barge on the river Styx, Buster was constantly shuttled to his consequent and often ugly fate by Papa's ingeniously cruel punishments. Did he deserve it? Hamlet says none of us should be treated as we truly deserve.
Right, left, or wrong who knows what evil or good lurks or blesses the heart of woman or man?!