Written by CaptainSausage
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Saturday, 2 June 2012

image for John Terry and Wayne Rooney film sitcom pilot Terry practises his acting skills

England footballers John Terry and Wayne Rooney have filmed a sitcom pilot together called "Terry and Roon". In the sitcom, they play characters based on themselves, but living together in suburban London. The pilot will be aired during the Euro 2012 football tournament after England are knocked out.

In the sitcom, the characters share a bed (as was common in 1970s sitcoms), but both of them have girlfriends and it is obvious their relationship is not gay. Rooney is usually seen wearing an apron and doing the housework, while Terry sits in front of the TV and juggles appointments with other footballers' girlfriends, with hilarious consequences.

Both footballers speak with thick accents, which can make them difficult to understand. A sample of the pilot's script is shown below:

WR: 'Ey, Teh! It's practice tomorrer. Have ye cleaned yer shorts?

JT: 'Ow the bleeding 'ell should I know, you daft Scouse tart!

WR: I'm fed up of cleaning all yer shorts. Why don't ye get off yer fat Cockney arse and do yer own bleeding washing.

JT: Cause I'm busy, ain't I? I gotta work out tactics for the game and that.

WR: Isn't that the guv'nor's job, what's 'is face? That bloke what can't talk right.

JT: Nah, not that game. I mean the ladies. I'm shagging Lampard's wife at 3, and Gerrard's at 5 and neither of them have got to find out, or it's curtains for England.

WR: Ooh, what a palaver!

JT: Shut it, you tart! That's a bleeding awful catchphrase.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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