Written by mikewadestr
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Wednesday, 30 May 2012

image for Ferris Wheel Operator is Just Itching to Throw the Brake in the Middle of the Ride after releasing the Seat Locks Roll baby! Roll!

Percy Twirl has been working the giant Ferris wheel at Jumpin' Jimmy's Amusement Park without incident for close to two decades now. But as of late, Percy Twirl has just been itching to unlock the seat locks and pull the emergency brake somewhere in the middle of a ride when the Ferris wheel is chock full of fannies.

Percy finds himself more and more clenching and unclenching his right hand as he sub-consciously moves it closer to that seat lock button on the control panel. There are times during the ride that he begins daydreaming of how things would work for the people who ended up in the chairs at the wheels apex, only to come to reality and find his hand caressing the emergency brake.

He visualizes the customers at the apex simply being thrown across the open space and over the first row of carnival booths into the football throwing booth and right through the hoop. This would certainly qualify him to finally win the big stuffed panda that he has been trying to win for himself for years which he would tell everyone it is for his 3 year old daughter of course.

He, also, believes that the ones being thrown from the chairs midway down the front of the wheel would end up going right into that really dumb fishbowl booth which he hated and bust up the place. He would happily argue with the booth attendant that he should be awarded a prize because it's not his fault that the people couldn't fit in the stupid fishbowl holes. He would show him what a rip off the game is. If it weren't for that game, he wouldn't have to spend his weekends working as a mob 'clean up guy'.

He felt the people in the seats to the back of the wheel would most likely fall forward and into one of the wheel's spokes. If he started it up real fast again he could watch all those noisy, smiley bastard's fall earthward, hitting every single spoke on their way down to the ground.

He couldn't help staring at the platform bolts holding the Ferris wheel in place and thinking about loosening them up before the evening starts so that some time during one of the rides the bolts would come off. This would allow the wheel to break free and roll through the park and right over the dart shooting booth, popping all its balloons before heading out of the park and right down interstate 10 towards San Antonio and into oblivion.

"Boy, now that is what I would call a Ferris wheel ride".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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