Texting for the over 60's.
The rioting, mugging, unemployed, alcoholic, smoking, drug-taking, spoilt youths and kids of today, have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc.
So here are some codes suitable for the more mature, decrepit, and coffin-seeking Senior Citizens of today.
AFE - Another Fart Escaped
ATD - At the Doctor's
ATM - All The Medications
BAS - Burnt Another Saucepan
BBC - Bathroom Bloody Cold
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
CGITB - Can't Get Into The Bath
CGOOTB - Can't Get Out Of The Bath
CGU - Can't Get Up
CPMEB - Can't Pay My Electricity Bill!
CPMGB - Can't Pay My Gas Bill!
CSI - Coffin Seeking Invalid
CSM - Cameron Scares Me!
DAHA - Damned Arthritis Hurting Again!
DAOFT - Damn, Another One Followed Through!
DKA - Damned Kids Again!
EMU - Easily Most Unmotivated
FWIW - Forgot Where I was
FWIWS - Forgot What I Was Saying
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In
GGPBL - Gotta go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
GMAT - Got Mugged Again Today
GTCMP - Going To Collect My Pension
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IHGO - I Hate George Osborne!
IMHO - Is My Hearing-aid Over-there?
IMHO - Is my Hearing Aid On?
LFMG - Looking For My Glasses
LHSIPM - Laughing So hard I Pee'd Myself
LMBP - Lost My Bus Pass
MMMMM - Missed My Medications Monday Morning
PCA - Please Call Ambulance
PTCTP - Passed The Cemetery Today Phew!
TPOF - The Price Of Food!
SNOG - Sorry Nodded Off Again
SSTMT - Someone Spoke To Me Today
STA - Stubbed Toe Again
STST - Spoke To Someone Today!
SUP - Speak Up Please
TFMMN - Time For My Medications Now
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To
WDII - What Day Is It?
WIWYA - When I Was Your Age
WIFI - With Indigestion From Infection
WTF - With The Foreceps
WTG - Watching The Goldfish
WTH - Walking To Hospital