Written by Dan Cun
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 2)

This series of articles details some of the real (and yes, despite being a spoof site these e-mails are real) sent users on dating websites.

The identity of both the sender and receiver of this e-mail have been hidden.

From: BigDaddy2012
To: Sugarbabylol

Hi

I kind of did something a little bit unorthodox, well, by that I mean....stupid..... and it has maybe backfired.

I told all my friends and my family that I had a girlfriend after I failed to attend a funeral (It was only an Auntie who had a moustache) - I said I couldn't go as I had agreed to babysit my girlfriend's dog - to kind of convince people I wasn't making it up (which I was) I downloaded a couple of your profile photos (I know!) and sent them saying you were my girlfriend (Sorry) - I also posted them on my Facebook page and made up a name for you and whole history.

Okay, well that's not too bad is it?

Anyway, things have taken a nasty turn for the worse because now my family and friends have organized an engagement party for us (kind of them) - I know - I really should not have said we were getting engaged, but one thing led to another and I guess I didn't think it would matter (:-o), as I would just have said, at a later date, that you left me to join the circus, which, has happened to several other real girlfriends, one wife and a neighbor who falsely accused me of stalking.

So, I now need you to pretend to be engaged to me and pretend to be my girlfriend. What I need you to do is just play along with it, they are all (67 of them) flying over from England at the weekend and expect to be staying at my Mansion (again that is going to be a problem but I haven't figured that out yet) while we just pretend to have been dating for the last 4 years.

Also, if you know where I can hire a 50 bed roomed mansion from, some servants and maybe help me learn to fly a helicopter by Saturday (I have no idea why I told them I was no longer working at Wal-Mart) that would also be a plus.

Thanks

Sam

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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