I'm now in favor of gay marriage. That's different from before, when I was kind of in favor of it. I'm just saying, if I was gay, I'd get married. I mean that in a good way, of course.
President B. Obama
I always thought Rip Taylor was an American genius. I hear he'll be playing at 'The Comedy Dump" in Houston, TX later this month. I'll probably see you there if you go, which you should.
Rip Taylor (not the same one)
Feel free to congratulate me, I'm getting married. You may ask, "What does a vital relatively young man see in a talking pumpkin like me?" Go ahead, ask. Everyone does.
Still denying any wrongdoing
I didn't cut that kid's hair in high school because he was gay, I cut it because I didn't think it suited his face. I hope that clears things up.
I have feelings too
Given that I did some good things, I would have thought that hell would be nicer.
Dear Mr. Spoof:
I have a bone to eat with you. I read you all the time and never got a "Thank You" note. I would think that it would be only common courtesy to thank me for reading you all the time. If you do not respond, I will consider that my "Thank You." If you do respond, then I will be upset. You don't want that!
Retired Crossing Guard Barbosa Mucus (retired)
I have strong opinions and I hate Sarah Palin. I wouldn't date a woman like her. Or any woman for that matter, since they all despise me.
My Mom's House
My Mom's City