Written by Inchcock
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Friday, 4 May 2012

image for Nottingham and Manchester reject Elected Mayors! Perhaps if Mario Balotelli and Wayne Rooney entered the race to be Mayor of Manchester?

Three of the cities that held referendums on the introduction of elected mayors have so far rejected the idea:

In Nottingham, 57.09% of voters decided against it.
Comment:
"It's perfectly understandable really. If the proletariat of Nottingham had to turn out to vote for a mayor, they would have less time for shoplifting, benefit claiming, and also they'd risk getting themselves shot by one of the many local drug gang members."

In Manchester, 53.24% of voters decided against it.
Comment:
"Unless perhaps if Mario Balotelli and Wayne Rooney entered the race to be Mayor of Manchester, I don't think the locals would be interested. Besides they have many other interests, and have great demands on their time already, the bookies, pickpocketing, ram raiding etc, without having to find time to vote for a mayor!"

At the time of reporting on this issue, Bartholomew Utterswaithe reports on the current position (final results expected in 14 hours time) of the political parties prospects in the local council elections:

Conservatives:
Discombobulated!

Lib Dem:
Suicidal!

Labour:
Amazed!

UKIP:
Borderline contented!

BNP:
Pissed off!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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