Fr Frederick "The Great" Tittslesin has been asked by The Spoof to hear the world's confessions in the satire section. This will be a regular feature, at least as regular as the neurotic's bouts with colitis and spastic colon.
Screen name, Captain Humpy writes:
I have always been an obsequious sychophant when it comes to authority figures. I used to stab my own mother in the back just to please my dear papa...oo oo may I call you dear papa?
Anyway, the sin I would like to confess is the chief of all deadly sins, yes, dear papa, PRIDE.
I first noticed the appearance of this fatal flaw when I stopped enjoying mounting the legs of my bosses. I still did it with regularity and some vigor but the old thrill was gone.
Please grant me God's forgiveness which He gives you for us miserable sinners.
Signed Obese Phant
Dear Obese Phant,
Right you are to dread the sin of Pride. In fact right you are to dread just period,it's always been my favorite part of my relationship with snivelling underlings.
No! You may not call the Most Reverend "The Great", papa, until the Papal coronation.
As for the thrill being gone from humping, I'm afraid that is not my department. May I suggest you write to the Dawursts, those sexperts who have an advise column in this same internet rag.
Till you hear from them, may I suggest you put your back into it!
Oh yeah, you're absolved...