Written by KRS
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 27 April 2012

image for Things I've Learned & Things I Should Not Have Forgotten These last longer than the food

Relax, I'm in good health as far as I know. I've just been reflecting that I'm closer to my unscheduled departure time than to my scheduled arrival time. In that, I was just thinking about things I've learned, things I have forgotten
and things I should have learned by now, inspired by a note from a friend. Here are a few…


Life isn't fair, but it's the only game in town - ENGAGE. You want fair - take the bus or go to Des Moines Iowa in August

When in doubt, take the next small step…probably backward. The corollary: If you find yourself in a hole you have dug for yourself - quit digging immediately and reassess without the use of a shovel.

Never be afraid of trying something new. Remember, Noah only built one thing in his life, but seasoned engineers designed and manufactured the Edsel.

Simply because there are less footprints along the road less traveled does not imply it is a path leading you over a cliff

Your employer will not take care of you when you are ill. If you are worthy, your friends and family will. If unworthy, pack your bags for Mogadishu.

You don't have to win every argument to maintain fidelity to yourself

You have eternity to be dead but only an undetermined finite amount of time to live; which is of greater value to you? Maybe today is the ideal time to start that list…you think?

Everyone makes mistakes; even you. Seen an avocado lately? Poor design, but still desirable by many

Misery is often a state of mind. So is happiness - You choose; column "A" or column "B"

Cry with someone. It's more cathartic than crying alone and there's always the remote chance of make-up sex

When it comes to loyal friends, dogs, pistachios, smoked turkey, lobster, shrimp and Almond Roca; resistance is futile

Make peace with your past so it won't fuck up the present - you can't change it anyway

Haiku is high art - texting is bottom dwelling whale dung

Don't compare your life to others. You have no clue what their journey was like.

If you're doing something you don't want anyone to know about; STOP doing it in all likelihood.

EVERYTHING can change in the blink of an eye

No one in their right or left mind likes to be rejected, least of all me, but rarely should you allow that to be the last word on the matter

Be appreciative. Believe me; if you are reading this, things can always be worse

Get rid of almost everything that isn't meaningful

Remember to watch out for all of the crap along the way if you follow the herd

Light those candles, open that bottle of wine, use the satin sheets or wear the diaphanous lingerie. Don't save it for that "special occasion." Today is special and tomorrow may never come and my phone number is (612) 823-0000

As long as you are still pushing air, there is Hope

Over prepare, then let it be

Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear opposing striped clothing or different colored socks!

The most important sex organ is the brain, even if it isn't the one that's doing all the hard or not so hard work

Contemplate every misadventure with these words; 'In two years, will this matter and will I laugh?'

If living your life on a daily basis isn't challenging enough and you need to rush home to watch "Reality TV," you
should take a good look at yourself in the mirror and have a chat.

Forgive but never forget.

Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

However good or bad a situation is, if you are still breathing, there is one constant - things WILL change

Believe in possibilities; the certainties will always take care of themselves

Your children only get one childhood - share it with them as much as possible. Think of it as life's two for one giveaway or a do-over.

All that truly matters in the end is that you cared and loved

Get outside every day. Wonders abound

If you are touching screens more than people, you need to re-prioritize your life - NOW!

Try yielding a little more, especially with the ones you love

Life may not be bound with ribbon, but it's still a gift with an undisclosed expiration date. Try making that the first thing you think about every day

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

69 readers are online right now!

Go to top