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Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Bottoms For Large Bottoms: New Kardashian Clothing Line

Yesterday the news of the new Kardashian clothing line hit the airwaves. The line was described by Kim as, "the go to attire for white women who have larger assets." According to Khloe it's not enough to just have the larger rear end, but now people need to dress it accordingly." The line will appear in Sears, JC Penny and Dillard's starting tomorrow.

According to sales estimations, the line of velour sweat suits is expected to be the leader. Khloe's husband, Lamar Odom told reporters, "When baby got back you want to be able to rub dem draws right off." And according to recent reports, Kanye West feels the same way. Kris Jenner is set to make this clothing line work. "So I know last time no one wanted to buy our clothes but this time we really stuck to what we knew. By specializing in clothing that highlights the butt cheeks, we created something unique and yes, Kim tested it all along with Kourtney and Khloe."

The clothing line itself is quite elaborate. There are three types of butt enhancing pants. The first pair will lift up saggy cheeks with underwire. Next there is an option to get pants that make the butt look firmer. This is done by adding sand packs into the buttocks area of the pants and padding the back. Kim said, "If someone runs up and smacks your butt it will be hard as a rock. These will protect you from impact, hurt the assailant, and make your ass look so hot," regarding the second option.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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