Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 30 April 2012

image for The Wonderful Wacky World of Politics - Intro By Gary Busey Ron Paul, 76, tells it like it is. (Photo courtesy of Piper Palin).

That infamous actor Gary Busey once said, "The wonderful wacky world of politics is kinda like a great big bowl of fruit. Some of the fruits are apples, some are bananas, some are lemons, some are kumquats, and some are coconuts but the bottom line is that they are all friggin fruit."

Here are some statements, comments, sayings, rants, quotes, diatribes, observations, tirades, harangues, and stuff that our wonderful politicians have recently uttered.

• Mitt Romney - "I am so close to the White House, I can actually smell the fried chicken."

• President Obama - (Responding to the above statement). "You're mama! fancy hairdo boy."

• Newt Gingrich - "You know, I'm so damn tired of people referring to me as that life-sized Cabbage Patch Doll that I may just drop out of the GOP presidential race real soon."

• Rick Santorum - "Old Fig Newton Gingrich has a good sense of humor. But then I guess that one would have to when one looks exactly like a Cabbage Patch Doll."

• Ron Paul - "One thing you can say about me is that I may be old but at least I ain't old."

• Michele Bachmann - "Gosh I sure do miss those televised debates. I loved being on TV. A lot of people used to tell me how fantastically pretty I was. At times I almost felt as popular as those witches on The View, but not Elisabeth Hasselbeck - she's a good Republican girl."

• Chris Christie - "Hey anybody gotta couple of pizzas?"

• Nancy Pelosi - "I know exactly how Sarah Palin feels about being 'checked out' by her secret service agent. Every single day at least a dozen senators 'check me' out but hey I say let them look all they want, just as long as they don't touch the merchandise."

• Vice-President Joe Biden - "Okay, I have to admit it. Yes, I have checked out Nancy Pelosi twice or seven times."

• Sarah Palin - "Ya know truth be told, I really don't mind being 'checked out'. Hell I'm 48-years-old and I have to say that good golly gee willikers, my female ego has an urge, need, and desire for my derriere to get 'checked out' gosh darnit."

• Herman Cain - "I swear if it hadn't been for all of dem big mouthed blonde women, I could've been da very first 100 percent black president."

• President Obama - "Say Brutha Herman, are you still hangin' around. I strongly suggest dat you git yourself back to da pizza parlor dude. And I bet dat ya never mess wiff dem white blonde women again, fa shizzle ma nizzle and dats what I be talkin' about my pizza-making, skirt-chasing brutha."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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