I was shocked to a stand still after Tony Blair snubbed my Aunty Dot in favour of meeting Shilpa Shetty.
What is he playing at? Okay, her boobs are hanging over her waist, her hair is rinsed blue and her teeth are a bit yellow but what has Shilpa got that is so amazing? Can she cook Yorkshire pudding?
Aunty Dot simply wanted to thank Tony for the way he has looked after the oldies. A free chocolate bar when she hits a hundred, a free box of matches to light the piece of paper with every cold winters night. All Aunty wanted to do was slap a big wet kiss on Tony's lips and where is he? Oggling Shilpa's cleavage, beautiful eyes and amazing wonderful incredibly lithe body from his dispatch box.
Come on Tony! Take yourself in hand.