Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for Glenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate The state of Idaho has more potatoes than Holland has tulips. (Photo by Jay Leno).

POCATELLO, Idaho - Glenn Beck was in Pocatello visiting one of the largest potato museums in the world, The Spud Land Museum & Gift Shop.

He was accompanied by his 4-year-old niece Daisy Parpaletti, who looks just like him except she's a lot smaller, she's a girl, and she does not cry anywhere near as much as her uncle.

Beck was asked by Mistletoe Bulova, a very pretty reporter with The Political Drive Thru Window what he thought about Mitt Romney. He grinned and quickly replied that he could not answer that question due to the fact that his little niece was with him.

Just then one of the female museum employees offered to take little Daisy across the street to go get a potato cupcake at Polly's Potato Cupcake Shop.

After the two were out of voice range Beck replied that he cannot stand Romney and that he will do everything in his professional power to see to it that he does not get the Republican party's presidential nomination.

When Beck was asked who he would like to see in place of Romney he shook his head, scratched his left ear and replied, "I would like to see Newton Gingrich, Ricky Santorum, or even my little bitty Texas buddy Ronnie Paul; anyone but that arrogant CEO fella Mitt Romney."

Miss Bulova informed Mr. Beck that it appears that Romney may just about have the presidential nomination all sewed up.

Beck began sniffling. Bulova asked him what he would do if and when Romney becomes the GOP standard bearer. Beck took a sip of his Diet Water and remarked softly, "If that happens I will sit down and cry lots and lots of tears."

"Really? Bulova asked.

"Oh yes Miss Bulova" Beck stated. "I take my politics very seriously. If you think that Brett Favre, John Boehner, and Nicole Scherzinger can shed some tears you have not seen this Nazi memorabilia-collecting boy cry."

"Isn't that kind of childish?" asked the very attractive reporter.

Beck looked her in the eye and said that doodling during office hours is childish. Making stick men and stick women during your lunch hour is childish. But shedding great, big, gigantic, crocodile tears because that flip-flopping Romney is going up against President Barack Obama is not childish.

Just then Daisy returned with the museum employee and Beck expressed his thanks and asked that what was said in Pocatello stays in Pocatello.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yeah. Fat chance of that weepy boy.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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