Written by Inchcock

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Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for Nottingham News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments Friday Nottingham News

Monday 2nd April:

Topic: Parking Levy

"Workplace Parking Levy begins in Nottingham"

Source: BBC News

A levy which charges employers for their staff to park at work has begun in Nottingham. Employers with 11 or more parking spaces now have to pay Nottingham City Council £288 a year per space under the Workplace Parking Levy.

Many employers have decided to pass on some or all of the charge to their staff while some have reduced their numbers of car parking spaces.

Comment: "A mass protest meeting of employed car owing people due for Tuesday, has been cancelled due to a much larger meeting of Benefit seekers in the Old Market Square!"

Tuesday 3rd April:

Topic: Crime - Murder

"Notts teenager who killed his mother is jailed for 16 years"

Source: Nottingham Post

Daniel Bartlam, 14, of Georgia Drive, Redhill, hit his mother Jacqueline Barton several times on the head with a claw hammer.

He then padded the 47-year-old's unconscious body with paper and set fire to it using petrol.

Her body - which was so badly burnt it could only be identified by dental records - was discovered in her bedroom.

Violent video games and films, including The Amityville Horror and Final Destination - with 18 certificates- were also found.

They discovered that websites he had looked up included "Man kills wife and makes it"; "How to get away with murder"; and "People who get away with murder in shows."

Comment: Comments are to be found at the bottom of the link page on this one.

Wednesday 4th April:

Topic: Crime

"Shock after man's face is slashed in 'targeted' attack in Arnold"

Source: Nottingham Today

Residents and workers have spoken of their shock after a man was slashed on the face and arm in Arnold.

The 54-year-old was attacked at a house in Beechwood Road at 8.45pm on Monday.

Vipul Patel, owner of Beechwood Newsagents in the road, said the incident was the talk of customers yesterday. He said: "Some people were worried, some were surprised because this is the first serious incident for a long time."

Another Beechwood Road resident, an 18-year-old woman, said she heard an argument in the street. She added: "It's nothing unusual around here."

Anyone with any information is asked to contact police on 101, or to call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.

Comment: It makes you glad that the Government is taking away over 200 Nottingham police officers to police the London Olympics doesn't it?

Thursday 5th April:


Burglar alarm 'ignored' as hair salon suffers break-in!

Source: Nottingham Post

The owner of a city centre hair salon has been left devastated after a break-in. Thieves stole £800 of charity cash, £200 in takings, and eight hair straighteners worth £900 after getting into Essensuals, in Long Row, through a first-floor window.

Salon owner Heidi Hamilton said the break-in activated the salon's alarm, but the incident was not reported until a stylist found the salon ransacked on Monday morning and called the police.

Mrs Hamilton said she was surprised the police had not been called to the incident earlier. "I can't believe no one reacted to our alarm going off in the city centre. It must have still been fairly light outside and there would have been people in town, but no one bothered to phone the cops."

Comment: I assume that Mrs Hamilton is not a native of Nottingham, or she would have possibly understood

Friday 6th April:

Topic: Lottery

"Nottinghamshire sees third lottery win of 2012"

Source: BBC News

A Nottinghamshire couple - the third in just over three months - has won millions in a lottery draw.

Jim Emerton, 56, and his wife Maureen, 55, from Carlton in Nottingham, scooped £4,449,039 after matching all six numbers in Saturday's domestic Lotto.

In February, Cassey Carrington and Matt Topham, both 22 and from Stapleford, won £45.1m playing EuroMillions.

Just two weeks earlier Gareth and Catherine Bull, from Mansfield, banked £40.6m.

And like the previous two winners in the county, Mr and Mrs Emerton won on a Lucky Dip ticket.

'Trick ticket': It was Mrs Emerton, a housewife, who first realised they had won, but her husband thought she was playing a prank on him.

"I said 'You're not going to believe me but we've got every number'," she told the news conference.

Comment: "I am so pleased for them... happy, exhilaration... not jealous at all!"

Friday 6th April:

Topic: Crime

"Police hunt man over Post Office robbery"

Source: Nott's Police

Police are hunting a man who robbed a city Post Office this morning. It happened just before 9.15am today (Thursday 5 April) at the Post Office branch in Sneinton Boulevard.

A quantity of cash was stolen from the till, after the suspect threatened workers with a firearm.

No one was injured and the offender left on foot towards Colwick Road.

The suspect was wearing all dark clothing.

Anyone with any information is asked to contact Nottinghamshire Police on 101 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111

Comment: "Nottingham - the Queen of the Midlands? Please let me know what you think!"

Saturday 7th April:

No news today - too busy at hospital. (See My Senior Moments W/E: 8th April 2012)

Sunday 8th April:

Topic: Crime

"Assaults on Nottingham Police increase by 40%"

Source: Nottingham Post

The number of police officers assaulted on duty in Notts has jumped by around 40 per cent in the past year, according to figures from the Police Federation.

Comment: Oddly enough I'm not surprised!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

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