Celebrity Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty met with The Spoof 'writer' D Howdy for an interview exclusive.
D - Good morning, Miss Shetty.
S - Good morning.
D - You don't remember me, do you?
S - I'm sorry. Have we met before?
D - I tried to interview you before. After you'd just seen Dirty Dancing.
S - (Furrowing eyebrows and staring at me intently) Oh yes. I remember. How are you?
D - You stuck your middle finger up at me in an obscene manner.
S - I did? I don't remember.
D - Are you calling me a liar?
S - No...It's just that...
D - A crap writer I may be, but I am not a liar.
S - Are we going to do this interview or not?
D - (Jumping to feet ni an intimidating fashion) Shut your mouth, Shetty. I'm asking the questions around here. Understand?
S - I understand.
D - That's more like it.
S - Well?
D - Well what?
S - Aren't you going to ask me any questions?
D - I'm not really interested in anything you have to say, Shetty.
S - Then why are you interviewing me?
D - I have realised that the mere mention of your name in a headline is enough to boost my points system and thus help rocket me to that number one spot currently held by Willis Rodney or someone like that.
S - So you have no intention of asking me any questions?
D - (Offering a pack of biscuits) Would you like a chocolate Hob-nob?
Shilpa Shetty stands and makes for the door slamming it shut.