Written by JAB

Print this

Monday, 26 March 2012

image for Santorum's "The First Book of Rick" THE FIRST BOOK OF RICK

SCRANTON, PA --- A staffer to Republican Party presidential primary candidate, Rick Santorum thought it was only an Etch a Sketch he accidently left in a cab. Only, after entering the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company where his boss was to give a speech did he realize it was Santorum's entire 'playbook' for what he would do if elected President of the United States.

Taxi driver, Julian Assange (no relation), a Ron Paul supporter, plans "…to leak the documents gradually, till August if necessary."

Mr. Assange released an excerpt from "THE FIRST BOOK OF RICK."

MONDAY: Restart the Crusades (1 Tim. 1:18, 19)

TUESDAY: Sanctions against Canada for their support of Universal Health Care (Jer 30:17)

WEDNESDAY: Put the budget into surplus (2 Ki 12:4)

THURSDAY: Make English the official language of Puerto Rico (Cor.14:2)

FRIDAY: Ban same sex marriage (Prov 5: 18-19)

SATURDAY: Meet with Tim Tebow, Tabernacle Choir and Hallelujah Chorus (Acts 2:1-11)

SUNDAY: … and then he rested and listened to Genesis (album 14: track 2)*
* Jesus He Knows Me

The unidentified staffer is believed to be seeking sanctuary in Blessed Oliver Plunkett church in Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


45 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more