Written by Chrissy Benson
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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

image for Libra Woman Decides To Just Keep Being Indecisive - And Then Wonders If She Just Went Back On Her Decision, And If So, Is That OK? Madison Powell is loving life now that she's become decidedly indecisive.

Her entire life, 48-year-old Libra Madison Powell heard the constant refrain, "Stop being so indecisive!"

And she tried, she really did. As a child, she practiced making smaller decisions of lesser import, like choosing Cheerios over Raisin Bran for her breakfast - only to find herself plagued with doubts while eating her Cheerios, wondering whether the Raisin Bran, or even Corn Flakes, might have been more enjoyable.

As a single adult woman, her indecisiveness caused her relationships to suffer, as she pored over restaurant menus while on dates, sometimes taking 30-40 minutes to choose a dinner entrée - only to change her mind the moment the waiter asked for her order.

Her indecisiveness affected her professional success, too.

"Getting dressed for work in the morning was a nightmare," she confided. "Should I go with the black dress or the maroon sweater with the charcoal-gray pencil skirt? Patent leather pumps or the adorable ballerina flats? There are always so many wonderful options that for Libras like me, it's sheer agony to choose just one."

Things came to a head when, at the age of 45, Madison was forced to choose between 2 lovers. There was Keith, a successful and powerful advertising executive determined to bring New Age ethics to the business of psychological manipulation for profit. And then there was Greg, an introspective research scientist devoted to studying the habits of Japanese beetles.

"I couldn't do it," said Madison. "I just couldn't do it. And at that point, I realized that indecisive was just who I was. Why should I have to make a choice?"

So, she didn't. In effect, she became anti-choice.

That approach worked out spectacularly with Keith and Greg, who both grew so frustrated at her indecision that they dumped her - leaving Madison so happily single that she realized she'd never truly been in love with either of them (she's pretty sure).

"It's just like the Rush song says - 'If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.' That says it right there! I found that when you don't make decisions, life decides for you. And life sometimes comes up with some amazing ideas."

For that reason, Madison decided simply to continue being indecisive. Immediately thereafter, though, she wondered whether in doing so, she'd just gone back on her decision. And if so, was that okay?

Madison's not going to decide.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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