BILLINGSGATE POST - After speaking before the American Israel Public Action Committee (AIRPAC) last night in Washington, Bibi Netanyahu sat down with Dr. Billingsgate to discuss his speech and his meeting that morning with President Barack Hussein Obama:
Dr. B: Mr. Prime Minister, may I call you Bibi?
Bibi: Of course, of course. It is my privilege.
Dr. B: Thank you. In your brilliant speech last night, and I quote you: "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then what is it? It is a duck!" Who were you referring to?
Bibi: Don't quote me on this, but have you ever seen a black mudhen? I don't mean this to be disrespectful, but what the hell! When I look into President Obama's eyes peering out behind that beak of his, that's what comes to my mind. Actually, I don't know why God put them on earth. All they do is eat and sh.t on golf courses. Just a nuisance!
Dr. B: I can understand your antipathy. In your last encounter with President Obama in 2011, when you took the opportunity to lecture him in public, he stared back at you as if he could kill you. Do you think he still feels that way about you?
Bibi: Heh, heh! Yeah, if looks could kill, I'd be a dead man. Lucky for me that Jews were out of season.
Dr. B: Bibi, I know that this must bug you. But why do you think that liberal Jews in the United States want to see Israel return their land back to the Palestinians and why do they hope that Iran nukes Tel Aviv? I'm speaking of famous people like Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg.
Bibi: Barbra Streisand? The only thing Jewish about her is her beak. My God! It looks like a nose growing out of a nose. As far as Spielberg is concerned, I believe his mother failed to adequately potty train him. I understand that he still squats to pee.
Dr. B: One more question before you leave. What do you think about the controversy ginned up here about Rush Limbaugh calling the Georgetown law student a slut? I know that Rush is one of Israel's biggest supporters.
Bibi: If I can paraphrase what I said in my speech:
If it looks like a slut, walks like a slut, and talks like a slut, then what is it? I will leave it to you to answer that question. And God bless Rush.
Dr. B: Thank you, Mr. Prime Minister.
NOTE: Copies of this interview may be obtained by personally requesting them from anyone left alive in my household after the impending drone strike directed by President Obama.