Written by Inchcock
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Sunday, 11 March 2012

image for My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 11th March 2012 Similar to the screen on my laptop when I tried to start it! Arrgh!

Monday 5th March 2012:
* Noticed the £2.39 Asda wall clock had stopped, so after a half hour search I found and replaced the battery, but the black plastic thingamajig fell off. So, undaunted I searched the hovel and found a screwdriver the size that would fit and allow me to carefully change the clock to show the correct time. Now with me painful fingers and not too good eyesight, this took me ages! I was so proud of myself when I'd finished, and a tingle of satisfaction came over me as I hung the clock back on the hook on the wall - The hook fell out off the wall, and the clock smashed as it hit the floor.

* Getting things ready for hospital in the morning, I failed to locate my Warfarin level record log book, even I find it hard to believe, but during the increasing panic as I searched around, I came across the remote control I'd lost several months back! I found the log later as well. why I'd put it on top of the fridge remains a mystery.

Tuesday 6th March 2012:
* Blood Tests at QMC today, so got up early to do a bit on the Spoof. Throughout the mostly dozing as opposed to sleeping night, I had many ideas come to me for using on the site. Now I sit here in fromt of the screen - mind ablank!

* Oh dear oh dear - what a morning! I set off on the 1½ hour trek come hobble to the QMC for the blood tests. Got about halfway there, and the need for a crap and wee-wee presented itself. The agony! I somehow managed to struggle on, and as I got to the corner into the QMC, thinking, at last three more minutes and I'll get to a loo!
Ha! - There was a fire alarm activation taking place, and a crowd of about 100 people waiting to be let in! Shit!... well I couldn't could I?
I Waited in pain for about half an hour more before they let us all in.
I hobbled down the passage to find the Gents loo occupied, but managed to get in the disabled loo just in time, ripped off my clothes... and what an absolute shock!
There was a full length mirror on the wall, and I caught sight of my flabby, droopy image in it! Horrendous and I mean horrendous!

* Had the blood taken, and I did warn the woman that i was on some new medications, and told her what it was, Trental Modified Release tablets, and when she checked afterwards to make sure the flow of blood had stopped, a jet of it shot up about 2 foot in the air! She said: "Ah that will be because of the new tablets your on!"

* I departed in my previously grey T-shirt now red and grey, to catch the bus to town. When I arrived in town, my next bus was not due for twenty minutes.
So I popped into a DVD shop and browsed around, finding they had some used DVD's for sale at £2 each... my kind of price that! Found a documentary on the end of the 2nd WW, so treated myself to it.

* When I got home the pigeons were circling the house in anticipation - so I fed them some seeds first, then put the kettle on, and got the WW2 DVD box ready... the WW2 empty DVD box!

Wednesday 7th March 2012:
* Still searching for the batteries for the damaged wall clock - I know I bought some... I know I did...

* A daft one this morning, while doing the washing up, I made a cuppa, and squirted washing up liquid into me tea!

Thursday 8th March 2012:
* Went over to see Stewart and Margaret, both fine. Set off for the QMC, wanted a wee ¼ mile away, managed to get there in time. Read book for an hour, and was called in on time 1450hrs. 14 doctors/students asked me questions, waited for results from their confab afterwards. Dr Cohen returned, listened to me ticker, and sent me for an ECG. Got to wait for appointment for a Myocardial Perfusion Scan, whatever that is.
* At the bus stop, a two-toned involuntary escape of gas must have lasted 40 seconds or so! Luckily, no follow through. Got home well tired.

Friday 9th March 2012:
* Still feeling so tired, went to see Stewart, then spent an idle day, dosing and reading. Went on laptop, and windows would not load! Arghh!! The laptop offered to set date back for me to a time when the computer worked, I clicked on 'Start' and waited. After a while more emissions of wind encouraged me to go up to the WC, on which I fell asleep! I came down, to see that windows had loaded on the laptop... hurrah!
* But the browser could not access details to start Chrome! Told me to reinstall program. Luckily I have Firefox on the system to use, but not having used it for a few months, it required several updates to be downloaded and installed, before I could access it.
* An hour and a half later, I searched for advice on how to reinstall Chrome. As I found the page, I became aware of smoke filling the room!
* I'd left the oven on with a tray in it! I opened the door and tried to waft the smoke out.
* Back to the laptop. I followed the instructions on how to get me Chrome back on, and soon wallah! There it was. Lost all me bookmarks though! Within an hour or so I'd put them back on.
*Then thought about having my tea, and realised it was 0330hrs!

Saturday 10th March 2012:
*Popped over the street to Stewart and Margaret, both doing fine. Came home. Went back to Stewart's to collect me hat.
* Chrome working okay now. 0400hrs did a bit on the Spoof to try it out. 0630hrs now, I'm still on it.
* Went to chemists to collect 2 monthly medications - as usual one was missing (Codeine Phostate), and the new one, the Trenthal modified release blood tablets had not yet arrived. Must remember to collect them on Monday PM, after the GP visit to arrange the 7 day monitoring attachments for the ticker. Went home, put the laptop on, made a cuppa.. then realised I'd forgot to get me food shopping!
* Back to the chemist to collect the bag I'd left there, then on to Lidle for me nosh. Back to the hovel with it, knocked me cold cup of tea over, swore, and got agina pains.
* Nodded off, and burnt the new £1 shop saucepan, but it lasted nearly a week this time, much better.

Sunday 11th March 2012:
* Averted a Senior Moment this morning! Realised just in time that the tube of Phorpain Gel I was about to squeeze and rub into me knees, was actually a tube of Asda toothpaste! Phew!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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