Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for A Los Angeles County Judge Says That She Is Pleased At The New and Improved Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan's attorney has stated that at times she feels like her client is 15 going on 25.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan showed up for her court hearing with her long flowing blonde mane and accompanied by her attorney Shawn "Buddy" Holley.

Ms. Holley told the assembled news media that Miss Lohan would not be answering any questions due to the fact that she has been known to say things that have been taken wrong and ended up painting a picture of her that is just not realistic.

"Lindsay, tell us about your recent breast enhancement surgery." Hollered one reporter.

"LiLo, is it true that you are thinking of getting married to Samantha 'The Dude' Ronson?" Yelled out another.

And a third shouted out, "Lindsay who does your hair Piper Palin?"

Lohan merely smiled and did not say a word.

As they made their way inside the courtroom Lohan paused long enough to get a drink of water from the water fountain so that she could take two pills that she has been taking for a facial skin condition that her maid told Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest is stress-related.

Judge Sautner read about 17 pages of items pertaining to Lohan's case. She then told her that it looks like she has been behaving herself and has amazingly managed to stay out of trouble.

Lohan replied that she has been a good girl and that she has made it a point not to return any of the calls from Paris Hilton, who she said is nothing but a bad influence on her.

Lindsay's lawyer leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

Lohan then remarked, "Ah Mrs. Judge. Could you please strike my last comment about Paris Hilton from the record. I really don't want to hurt her feelings."

The judge informed Miss Lohan that this was not a television courtroom show and that she did not appreciate her making such a silly out-of-line remark.

"Thank you your honor. In that case let it be duly noted by the stenographer that I have over ruled myself."

"Miss Lohan!"

"Yes your honor?"

"Kindly shut your freckled mouth. And open it only in the event that you need to either yawn or sneeze. Understood?"

"Yes your judgeship, I am fully cognizant of your ipso statement."

And with that Judge Sautner told her that she wanted to see her back in her courtroom on March 29. She told her to continue behaving herself and to bring $3,500 in cash to pay for the necklace she stole from the jewelry store.

Lohan whispered under her breath, "Cut."

"I heard that." Replied the judge trying to keep from smiling.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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