Ralph was back at his concrete garden emporium as Harry Woodcock come by. Harry stopped and got out of his truck, tearing out the whole seat of his pants on a spring that had come through his pickup truck seat.
"You ain't wearing any underwear, Harry."
"Quit. Gave them up! If that Brittainy can do it, so can I. Plus it saves me money. How come you was out of bidness fer a week? I even walked into the garage but the only thangs in there look like freaks."
"They's fer sale for $2. I was a little tight when I started making these concrete pieces of art. Shoot, for $2 what do you expect, the Statute of Liberdy? Howard Dale done come over and bought one $2 big mouth, big busted Cindereller for his mother-in-law's tombstone. But just look at these mighty fine Snow White and Seven Dwarfs, Santy Claus and Rudolfs and sech. Yours, Harry, fer only $10 a piece."
"Naw, don't want one. Freeda's mother's still alive. Just wondered where you waz all that time."
"I waz in the hospital, Harry. I picked up a Santy Claus and began hurtin in my back and down into my grinds. They told me not to lift anything that heavy again so it's 'Buy it and Tote It' from now on. They took me over to Barnwood in Barren County. Good thing. Those hospital gowns leave you barren alright. I musta mooned every member in my family and half of the old ladies."
"You haint married, Ralph."
"I didn't say I was. I said the old ladies. There was a bunch there visiting from church."
"Well, If I knowed you waz there, I'd brung you some purdy flares. Ha! Ha! Hachkkk! Spit! Oooorackkkk! Bug down my throat."
"Harry. While I was there recooperating, I saw big old Bubba Tudball walking around naked as a jaybird. So did them old ladies. He went all over the floor and downstairs and everwheres else asking some nurses to dance with him. They hadda get security and he ran off till he was tackled in the parking lot."
"Bubba gone crazy?"
"Naw. He was all doped up and some emergency happened so docters come out of the room to help and Bubba woke up feeling really, really good. He wanted to dance and kept ordering another Bud. Then he thought the Feds had caught him for something and so he runned off."
"What kinda operation they do on Bubba?"
"Told me he had his pendage took out."
"They get it? He had a whopper! Bet that took awhile."
"Yep, I reckon they did."
"Hoo boy! Now he'll be meaner than ever. Well, least ways we don't have to worry anymore bout the wives and daughters....mamas and grandmas nhttp://www.thespoof.com/writers/magazine/story.cfm#thiseither come to thank bout it."
"Hidee fellas! Which one of you big strong men are goin to take LITTLE OLE...ahem...little ole me to the Boogie Barn Saturday night?"