As I am getting older, more senile, and my health is deteriorating, I thought it would be nice to pass on some tips and advice for the youngsters while relating some of the happenings from my past, to help prepare them for the (if they live that long) approach of decrepitude.
I have lived (using the word loosely) in Nottingham for most of my pathetic life, so I suppose this guide to life will be of use to local ankle-biters only.
I was lucky in one way, the first words my mother used, said to the midwife, when I was born were: "I don't want it, throw it in the Trent!" (A wet river).
So I was aware of what was to come... too thick to do anything about it, but aware!
Made redundant through no fault of my own from work.
Cancer of the prostate and bladder treated.
Went into heart failure, new heart valve fitted, Contracted Angina. Telephone line cut off.
Got Impetigo, Arthritis, and lost hearing almost completely.
So there you are... or rather I hope you will not be... just be prepared!