Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Monday, 20 February 2012

In a satellite news conference from an unknown location, Adam & Eve held a press conference late this afternoon. The broadcast was deemed authentic by NASA.

The world was startled as the broadcast was in all of the known languages. The picture was bright and clear as Adam spoke first.

Adam: "How, for God's sake, were we supposed to fucking know!" It's time, however, for you to know and place the blame where it belongs. OK," He paused, "Here's the deal. Eve and I were sitting there, you know, just the two of us. Just the two of us, because that was all there was at the time. Let me tell you, if we had only known, we would have kept on biting what we were biting and ignored the damn snake. OK serpent! Sounds more ominous doesn't it? Well, he was just a snake to us!"

Eve: "Well he, the snake, says take a bite of this apple."Well, I had just said to Adam, 'take a bite out of this apple' and we thought it was an echo. Here we are in our fig leafs, OK, that's a lie, fig leafs never did anything but titillate, you know, like a soft porn site. Anyway, who could give a fig about a fig leaf? It couldn't cover a figging thing. I needed more than one and well Adam, he hardly needed one at all. But that's a different story for a different day. Anyways, talking to us about clothes at that time would be like talking about a tuxedo to a Buffalo".

Adam: "So here I was taking a bite, Eve was taking a bite, and this snake, OK; serpent, was asking us to take a bite out of an apple. Bite out of an apple!? Hello? We are doing just fine making decisions about what to bite in our lives and this slimy thing wants us to bite an apple!"

Eve: "OK, he was pushy. 'Bite the apple! Bite the apple!' He just kept at it until Adam, good ole, 'I'll try anything once,' Adam, says, 'OK, I'll bite the apple. Are you satisfied?' Well, we don't have to tell you the rest. The snake wasn't sissified. We weren't satisfied and you, you assholes, have never been satisfied since."

Adam: So, here is the skinny, so to speak. We just wanted you to know after all of the millenniums, what really happened. OK! OK! We made a mistake."

Eve interrupted: "But, when it comes right down to it and we certainly did our share of that, to tell you the truth, it was you folks," she paused, "that really fucked it up!?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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