Written by Inchcock
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Sunday, 26 February 2012

image for Nottingham News for W/E Sat 25th February 2012 - with comments I thought of asking for a lift....

Sunday 19th February 2012
Topic: Antisocial behaviour - Crime - Cruelty
Yobs set dogs on pup tied to fence in St Ann's
Source: This is Nottingham - Evening Post
Dog control officer Zoe Bestall, who works for Nottingham's Community Protection Directorate said: "She had been secured to the fence with a lead and a number of young males were encouraging Staffordshire Bull Terrier-type dogs to attack her. "She has had to be treated at our vets for multiple puncture wounds all around her face. This really was despicable behaviour; it's completely mindless and horrifically cruel.

"Completely mindless and horrifically cruel, spot on about the Yobs around here!"

Monday 20th February 2012
Topic: Crime - Murder
10 years since unsolved gun murder of Notts' David Draycott - Police launch fresh appeal!
Source: This is Nottingham - Evening Post
David Draycott was shot dead on his driveway in Sutton-in-Ashfield in 2002.​
Almost ten years on, police are renewing their appeals for help.
The force has cited the conviction of Rene Sarpong, who murdered 16-year-old Brendon Lawrence in St Ann's 10 years ago yesterday, as a prime example of how people can make a difference.
Sarpong, 31, of Lamartine Street, St Ann's, was not convicted of Brendon's murder until March 2010 - more than eight years after the shooting.

No rush then?"

Tuesday 21st February 2012
Topic: Traffic - Disturbance - Crime
Crash-Fight-Theft-Ambulance-Arrests
Source: Observed by Inchcock en-route to his hospital appointment
Walking on my way to the hospital this morning, I heard a crunch of vehicle on a vehicle nature. Turned to look, seeing an old Fiat Panda had rammed into the back of a shiny black polished BMW at the traffic lights on Gregory Boulevard. In an instant, the BMW driver was out of his vehicle shouting obscenities and gesticulating to the driver of the Fiat, a small crowd of locals enjoying the entertainment.
The Fiat driver got out to meet the his aggressor, and a few punches later, the BMW driver was on his own bonnet, being belted joyously around his head by the now cursing Fiat driver.
The police arrived at the same time as the ambulance, just as the Fiat driver was kneeing the BMW driver in the vicinity of his groin.
Another police car arrived, and the three police officers managed to prevent any-more bloodshed, arrested the offenders, put them in the car, and the disappointed crowd dispersed, as they moved the vehicles to a safe location.
The police took my name as a witness, and as I could not provide a statement there and then due to my impending hospital appointment, said they would contact me later.
I considered about asking for a lift to the hospital with the ambulance, but thought better of it... the drivers might have kicked off again, and there might not have been room for me with all the bodies in there!
Had blood test done quickly, hobbled on a bus, then hobbled off the bus, when the driver pointed out me bus-pass couldn't be used before 0930hrs.

"Bit of excitement to start the day - God how I love Nottingham folk!"

Wednesday 22nd February 2012
Topic: Asylim Seekers - Immigration - Nottingham
But it pales alongside 591,000, the total number of people who came to Britain in 2010.
Source: This is Nottingham: Erik Peterson
Of the links 750 words, let's just go ahead and get the two most incendiary out of the way first: asylum seeker.
Two stories involving asylum seekers appeared in the Post last week. One concerned Hussein Khedri, who got a last-minute - but as of now, temporary - reprieve after being detained last week and scheduled for deportation to Afghanistan.

"Interesting!"

Topic: Benefit cheat
Nottingham Benefits cheat caught!
Source: This is Nottingham
A benefits cheat who claimed he was unable to walk more than 50 metres without stopping was caught playing golf. Robert Cave pocketed £12,500 in Disability Allowance for more than three years.
The 50-year-old, of Cotswold Grove, Mansfield, was paid the benefit in 2006 - on the basis walking was extremely painful and he had difficulty even lifting pans from the cooker to the sink.

But footage obtained by the Department for Work and Pensions investigators showed Cave at a Notts golf course teeing up balls and hitting them. He could even lean over and balance on one leg as he picked up a golf tee.

"The little monkey!"

Thursday 23rd February 2012
Topic: Crime
Freed burglar Wayne Bishop sent back to jail for assault!
Source: This is Nottingham
Father-of-five Bishop, 34, of Failsworth Close, who was freed from prison for the sake of his children has been sent back to jail for assault. He was jailed for eight months at Nottingham Crown Court today, after assaulting a man in a Spar shop on the Broxtowe estate.
The assault happened less than a month after court of appeal reduced his eight-month sentence for burglary and dangerous driving to a 24-month suspended sentence last May.
He has been sentenced to four months for the assault and re-sentenced for the original offences he appealed. He got four months consecutive for the burglary and four months concurrent for dangerous driving, bringing the total he will serve to eight months.

"So much for the Justice system letting criminals off!"

Friday 24th February 2012
Topic: Crime - Benefit cheats
Gypsies who took £800,000 in benefits must repay £17.65
Source: This is Nottingham
Fraudsters from Notts who pocketed more than £800,000 in benefits have been ordered to pay back just £17.65.
Dorina Dumitru, 39, of Myrtle Street, Retford, and Ramona Dumitru, 34, of Alma Street, Hyson Green, were part of a Roma gypsy gang that cheated taxpayers out of hundreds of thousands of pounds.
The gang used forged Home Office documents and job references to illegally obtain National Insurance numbers, which they used to claim a range of state handouts.

"I wonder why so little was to be repaid?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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