Written by Pointer
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

image for I, ET McCrone Am Almost Speechless! Smilin' teeth of fate upon McCrone for PrezMininster

I, ET McCrone have had his faith in the Fourth Estate renewed and revived by TheSpoof.com! Imagine my surprise when my attack (see I, ET McCrone Am Bein' Silenced) upon the veritable silencing of the only voice for reason and British and American reunification was not censored, ignored (as my wife,The Whore of Babylon, LI suggested) or persecuted as I suspected.

You had to see McCrone caught in one of his most hysterical fits of paranoid-conspiracy theory. I thought for sure that that moustachioed demon at The Spoof would hunt me down for my audacity. The brave but tragic hero, McCrone, noble in his confrontation of injustice but guilty of the age old sin of onanism, no I mean, hubris took every precaution to avoid the vengeance of the gods.

First I dressed in The W o'B, LI's finery which I bought her twenty years ago at a flea market in Doosey, Pitiful.Can't say I didn't get a tickle wearin' the old gull's bloomers. I took three taxis back and forth across town to lose anyone tailin' me. Avoided all lifts/elevators since as lift/elevator extraordinaire that's the first place they'd look for me. No speeches about tubes or dental dams (see I,ET McCrone...), just a quiet little Gin Fizzy in a ladies lounge with the other drunken wenches and that where I thought I made my fatal mistake.

In a discussion with some other old sots about the assests and benefits of the new spandex corset, I had one of my reunification brainstorms: "Not a tube like in the bank drive-thru nor a sheath of latex! We'll bridge the Atlantic with the firm but comfortable spandex corset! I can see it now!"

I had jumped to my feet and carelessly exposed my hairy legs and chest to the pie-eyed assemblage of ancient trollops.

"Why, you're no lady!", bellowed the moustachioed virago in the bunch while she swigged her boiler-maker.And as one woman the pack of banshees attacked poor old McCrone. If not for my superior fitness and rabid terror, I may not have gotten away. Ran huffin'and puffin'all the ways home, just in time to sit before the computer and see with my own disbelievin' eyes the exemplary tolerance of The Spoof in permittin' the minority candidate for PrezMinister of the USUK in the Worlds News with 5 stars mind ya!".

Who knows perhaps the fine gents and ladies at The Spoof will... Vote for McCrone! Low Class In Two Lands!

GGoooiiing UP!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

63 readers are online right now!

Go to top