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Saturday, 11 February 2012

image for The North Korean Wide Web He has seen enough

Kim Jong Un, the newly appointed leader of the Democratic People's Republic Of Korea (DPRK), is quickly distinguishing himself as a visionary leader. At his command, the ruling party has formed a committee of high ranking officials assigned the task of introducing the world to DPRK's citizens. In a country with few computers and almost non-existent internet access, regular folk can now surf the net at a local market.

Several journalists from the western world were recently invited to interview Koreans after their first exposure to the internet. With the assistance of an interpreter, I spoke with one very excited and somewhat confused looking man as he exited the market.

"Please tell me, were you able to access news sources?"

"Oh, yes, very much news. Very interesting news."

"How many websites did you visit?"

"There is more than one?"

"Yes, millions. They only let you see one site? Which one?"

"Oh, I visit the honest truth dot com"

"And what did you learn at the honest truth dot com?"

At this time, the gentleman became very animated and his eyes sparkled with electricity. He spoke for several minutes and burst into laughter. His interpreter blushed noticeably and at times looked mortified. Finally, the interpreter had heard enough. He stopped the man from speaking and looked at me carefully.

"Sir, I am very sorry. This cannot be."

"What cannot be?"

"Sir, this man says that the western world is absurd. He says that a man who was lost in the wilderness ate his own beard to survive. A dog sued its owner after being hit by a car. The government of a country taxes people for having poops. A lady puts fertilizer on her boobs to make them grow. People wear clothes with pockets big enough to hold other people. People circumcise their dogs. Women who have two vaginas talk about it on television. Sir, I am so sorry, I believe this gentleman is crazy."

The interpreter spoke angrily with the man for a few minutes. I asked again which site the man had visited. After much discussion and with the help of three additional interpreters it was discovered that the committee had indeed permitted access to only one site. Somewhat regrettably and perhaps the result of a mischievous Korean programmer, the site selected was thespoof.com.

Or perhaps it was intentional. The customers leaving the market all vowed to never covet the west again!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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