Written by Chuck Terzella
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Thursday, 18 December 2003

If you can get ahead
when all about you are losing
and blaming it on you

If you can trust yourself
when all men doubt you
but make no allowance for their doubting

If you can’t wait to bomb
or get tired of waiting to bomb
or lie and deal in lies
or hate liberals and give way to hating
and yet don’t look too good
or talk too wise

If you can dream of power
and make those dreams your master
If you can’t think nor make thoughts your aim

If you can’t bear to hear the truth spoken
unless twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools
or watch men give their lives for things you’ve broken

If you can make a heap of all your winnings
and risk it all on one speech at the U.N.
and lose, and blame everyone else for the loss

If you can force your housekeeper to get you drugs
or fondle women and still win California
leak treasonous secrets or make sweetheart deals
with your old companies

If you can lie to crowds and sound virtuous
or offend heads of state with your common touch
if neither foes nor friends can trust you

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
with sixty seconds of spin
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it
and which is more
You’ll be a Republican my son

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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