Written by IN SEINE

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Tags: Driving

Saturday, 4 February 2012

image for Top 10 worst driving partners "What's the tyre tread in millimetres Carol?"

A Poll was taken by at least 2000 motorists and a list has been drawn up of the top 10 celebrities that people would NOT like to have as a driving partner if they were taking part in a rally. The reasons for these choices are not given, but some of the reasons that they are not chosen could be as follows:

10. Lewis Hamilton: he would be in too much of a rush to enjoy the scenery and when we did stop, he would expect me to change the tyres in 4.1 seconds.

9. Simon Cowell: he would drive me mad by commenting on my driving style and what clothes I wear.

8. Madonna: we might be held down at every border agency so that all of her adopted children who travel with her may accounted for.

7. Nick Clegg: is well-known for having no sense of direction - a born loser! (see David Cameron)

6. Christine Bleakley: is she a celebrity?

5. Carol Vordermann: she would be able to give you the fuel consumption, distance travelled, tyre wear in millimetres and the estimated time of arrival in a fraction of the time it will take on a computer.

4. Kate Moss: be warned! she is probably not on the same planet!

3. David Cameron: he would keep making U-turns, taxing everything in sight and be getting us nowhere fast!

2. Katie Price: her 2 very large air-bags may come in handy case of a collision, although one might get bored with her banging on about Peter Andre.

1. Jeremy Clarkson: would talk incessantly and insult almost every country on earth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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