Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Thursday, 2 February 2012

image for Barry would like to be your friend The most terrifying message ever?

You have 1 new friend request from Barry.
You have 1 new message from Barry, sent 1 Feb 18:35.

hello mate its me barry. remember we was at school together. remember that one time we flushed your trousers down the toilet that was facking hilarious.
then that other time you and biffer got into a fight and he beat the crap out of you. good times
anyways im in town and i need somewhere to crash for the night. any chance me and sledgie could stay at your place?

Barry's profile:
Name:Barry
Age:46
Sex:Male
Address:no fixed address
Likes:Men and women
Profile text:my names barry but the other boys call me knuckles. i spent 5 years in prison after getting done for manslauter. wasnt really my fault tho we was robbing the bank and the sledgehammer fell out of my hand. if it wasnt for that bastard banker i would have gotten away with it. sledgie got him when we got out of prison. then i got sent away for 10 years that time.
prison has really changed me tho and brought out my feminine side. sometimes i wear dresses and makeup and if anyone looks at me funny ill smash their face in. all the boys on d wing thought i was well pretty.
but now im out again and just hoping for a normal life. its just me and my trusty sledgie. looking for some boys or girls who want to have fun.

You have 1 new message from Barry, sent 1 Feb, 22:17

oi where the hell are you? me and sledgie been looking round your neibourhood cant see you anywhere. i know you live at number 23 but i rang that door and it werent you. come on you facker where are you.

You have 1 new message from Barry, sent 2 Feb, 11:04

looks like i wont be seeing you after all. sledgie fell out my hands again and hit some poor old lady. ill be back in the slammer for a few years. hope to see yous when i get out.
love barry knuckles

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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