Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for How The Moon Landings Were Faked The Moon, or is it?

Many a curious Earthling has gazed up at the Moon at night and pondered, "just how did the American government manage to fake those landings on the Moon?". As a recent book by "astronaut" Buzz Aldrin reveals, there were considerable obstacles to overcome. But for those of you of a weak disposition, prepare to be shocked. This conspiracy is even bigger than you could have imagined.

"The main problem," writes Buzz, "was to build a film set which was realistic enough that it actually looked like the Moon." Engineers first tried to make a set in the Arizona desert, but it didn't look right. They tried using the best indoor studios available in Hollywood, and they even tried asking underground mole people if they could use their subterranean lairs. Nothing worked. In the end there was only one option.

"There was only one option," says Buzz. "We had to actually travel to the Moon to build the film set for faking the Moon landings."

Strange though it may seem, it was necessary to transport hundreds of carpenters, set designers and engineers to the Moon to build the set for the Moon landings. This was before the actual rocket meant to carry the real astronauts to the Moon had even been built.

The problem with this was obvious. The whole reason for faking the Moon landings was because nobody would believe it was possible to actually travel to the Moon. So once the full explanation was leaked, it would be even harder for people to believe that hundreds of people had been to the Moon before Neil Armstrong, just to build the fake Moon landing set. However, this had the beneficial side effect that even if people heard the full explanation, they would think it was more likely that the Moon landings were real, and not faked at all.

But the real truth goes much deeper.

In his new book, "I Am Not A Buzz-Kill", Neil Armstrong reveals the true story behind the faked Moon landings. The Moon landings were in fact planned a long, long time ago, long before President Kennedy promised that the US would reach the Moon by the end of the 1960s.

It was the ancient Egyptians who first proposed the trip. It has long been known that the Egyptians built huge pyramid-like structures in an attempt to reach the Moon. What has not been made public until recently is the fact that they actually managed it!

When Neil Armstrong first made his trip to the Moon, he knew that hundreds of engineers had already travelled there to build the fake Moon landing set. He did not realise how easy the journey would be. He was able to walk to the Moon through a corridor on the top of the Great Pyramid in Egypt.

The Great Pyramid in Egypt is a well known tourist attraction, but has any casual tourist ever climbed all the way to the top, and returned to tell the tale? No.

It has been a very well kept secret that the Moon can be reached on foot from an Egyptian pyramid. But on his journey there, Armstrong discovered another shocking fact which shook his world to the very core!

He found that the Moon is not real at all. It is a large yellow shed built by ancient Egyptians who wanted to have a nice place in the sky that they could visit beyond the top of their pyramids, and to keep their lawnmowers. It was meant to appear as a bright light in the sky that they could gaze upon and ponder how to travel to.

But here's where it gets really weird.

There are actual Egyptian heiroglyphics that tell a story that one day in the future, some people would create a fake video of themselves flying to the Moon. It was all predicted long ago.

So now you know the full story of how the Moon landings were faked. Promise you won't tell anyone, will you?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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