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Saturday, 28 January 2012

image for Political News for W/E 28th January 2012 - with comments We should celebrate the 28th January's News!

22nd January 2012: David Cameron's finance chief to face business fine
Link - Daily Mirror
David Cameron's money man at Tory HQ will be forced to pay a fine after his firm broke ­business rules. Tory Party co-chairman Lord Feldman's family business will have to pay the penalty after failing to file accounts on time.

The breach is revealed just days after PM David Cameron urged firms to clean up their act, with his plea last week for "responsible capitalism".

Lord Feldman's multi-million-pound clothing empire Jayroma failed to file by September 30, 2011, ­according to documents lodged at ­Companies House. Under company law, the firm will have to pay a minimum £750 fine for overdue accounts. Lord Feldman also managed the cash for Mr Cameron's ­successful bid to be Tory ­leader in 2005.

The revelation is ­embarrassing to Mr ­Cameron, because of the Tory peer's role in helping to raise money for party funds.

"Now why am I not in the least bit surprised about this? Disgusted yes, but not surprised!"

23rd January 2012: 625 Drivers who caused deaths back on the roads - License to Kill again!
Crime
Daily Mirror Page 11
More than 600 convicted killer drivers have been allowed behind the wheel.

They include:
317 Drink-drive motorists
148 Who caused deaths by being careless
138 Who caused deaths by being dangerous
13 Who took a life while either Unlicensed, Disqualified, or Uninsured!

One drink-driver, who killed two pedestrians and left a 12-year-old girl brain damaged, will still be allowed back on the road legally.

"Why are our politicians uninterested in stopping this from happening?"

24th January 2012: MPs moan about taxpayer-subsidised Commons food
MPs
Link - Daily Mirror
Dry fishcakes, tough salami and badly-arranged chips top the menu of MPs' moans about their subsidised food.

Commons prices get a taxpayer top-up of £7.60 for every £10 spent by an MP - costing us £5.8million a year.

In the Members' dining room elected representatives can sustain themselves with pan-fried red mullet with carrot purée and a soft boiled quail's egg for £4.15 and artichoke and tomato salad with truffle dressing for £2.05. They can wash that down with bitter at £2.40 a pint and red wine at £2.05 a glass, but the knock-down prices have failed to impress picky MPs who have flooded the House of Commons catering service with complaints.

One moaned of watery eggs, while another demanded thinner salami slices. "It makes it tricky to eat because the rinds are so sturdy," he beefed. (I'd love to know which MP said this!)

"My heart bleeds for the bleeder's!"

24th January 2012: Nick Clegg warns Chris Huhne
Politics
Link - The Sun
Nick Clegg yesterday warned Chris Huhne there is no chance of him staying in the Cabinet if he is charged with a criminal cover-up.
Prosecutors will decide within days whether the Energy Secretary should stand trial for allegedly making his ex-wife take his speeding points.

Speaking on BBC1's Andrew Marr show yesterday, the Deputy PM said: "We want the highest standards of probity to be in place in everything that is done by Cabinet members." Mr Huhne, 57, strenuously denies the allegations.

"But he can stay on as an MP and member of the Lib-dem party then can he? Well well, fancy that, what next!"

26th January 2012: 42 knife robberies every day - Shock rise in violent crime...muggings up too!
Crime
Link - The Sun
The number of incidents was up ten per cent year on year, official figures revealed yesterday.

There were also 245 rapes by knife attackers - five per week. That is a sickening increase of 11 per cent.

The official British Crime Survey found all violent offences rose nine per cent last year to 2.4million.

Overall, "personal crime" - which covers violence, robberies and theft - climbed from 3.5million to 3.98million, the biggest hike in a decade.

Muggings, bag snatches and the theft of smart-phones were up 12 per cent to just under 600,000.

"Would someone please disturb the cigar chomping champagne guzzling Right Honourable Kenneth Clarke QC, Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice, and let him know this please?"

27th January 2012: Housing Minister Grant Shapps: One in five council house tenants is on the fiddle
Politics
Link - The Daily Mail
One in five council and housing association tenancies could be fraudulent, according to a study. The finding means there could be 750,000 fraudulent tenancies in England, vastly outstripping the Government's estimate of 50,000.
The cost to the taxpayer could be as much as £13.5billion a year.
Housing Minister Grant Shapps believes huge numbers of tenants are taking advantage of the hugely subsidised rents and then illegally sub-letting the properties.

Nasty fiddling tenant's, rather like:

* MP David Chaytor caught cheating on his expenses

* MP Eric Ilsley caught fiddling expenses and resigned

* MP David Chaytor appealed along with Jim Devine and Elliot Morley guilty of false accounting

* MP Elliot Morely, who admitted two charges of dishonesty and was sentenced.

* MP Jim Devine, who pleaded not guilty and was found guilty on two counts of fiddling.

* Lord Taylor of Warwick pleaded not guilty to six charges of false accounting, but was convicted.

* MP Paul White, Baron Hanningfield, who pleaded not guilty to six charges of false accounting, but was convicted at Chelmsford Crown Court.

* Cabinet Office minister Oliver Letwin, seen disposing of documents in a park bin.

* And on and on and on…

Don't you think?

28th January 2012: Millionaire Lawyer found Guilty
Crime - Justice
Link - Daily Mirror - Milliomaire Lawyer sentenced
A millionaire lawyer staggers drunkenly through a train station shortly before getting into his £50,000 Range Rover and crashing.

Shameless Francis Bridgeman, 43, fled the scene of the accident on foot to escape a breath test then lied to police he was the victim of a horrific knifepoint kidnap.

The disgraced City solicitor collapsed in the dock as he was jailed for 12 months for his ludicrous web of deceit.

"Millionaire lawyer found guilty! Marvelous, brilliant, best news of the week, Hurrah!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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