A collection of quotes I made up (as if you couldn't tell).
1) "This one guy said this one thing that was really profound. The thing he said really made you think about whatever it was he was trying to point out. It was a really neat quote."
2) "The secret to happiness is not being sad."
3) "Your honor student is sticking to my tires."
4) "I'm telling Jesus on you!"
5) "If I want to be told what to do all the time while being manipulated out of my money, I'll either get married, or join a religion."
6) "The grass is always greener right where you bury the bodies."
7) "I believe in love, destiny, fate and soulmates. Of course, I also believe that if I concentrate hard enough I can move objects with my mind."
8) "A friend kept telling me I over react - so I killed him."
9) "Women are like proctologists - they're expensive, and all they're interested in are assholes."
10) "The only reason why the grass is greener on the other side is because the other side is fetilized by a lot more shit."