Written by Inchcock
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Sunday, 22 January 2012

image for My Senior Moments this week - W/E 22 January 2012 Friday 20th Jan: Surgery Delayed - again!

Weekly Senior Moments: Temporary mental lapses(humorously attributed to the gradual loss of one's mental faculties as one grows older, and medical conditions causing embarrassments). of a Nottingham Man (using the term man loosely), who's impecuniousness, is critical, his education minimal, his Social Skills none-existent, his age old, his health dubious, his looks horrendous, is bald, short, pot-bellied, bespectacled, hearing aids wearer, currently suffering from Impetigo, Arthritis, Cancer, Toothache, Chilblains, and has just had a new ticker installed. His nickname in the forces, was 'Lucky'.

My Senior Moments this week


W/E Sunday 22nd January 2012

Sunday 15th Jan 2011:
* In a quiet moment in Chapel this morning (It always seems to happen at quite moments wherever and whenever this occurs), I suffered (as those around me did) from a violent, and painful emission of wind from my rear passage. I wanted to explain to those who didn't know about my medical condition that brings on these volcanic eruptions without any warning to me - but just went red faced and tried to look innocent, as I tried to stem the tears of pain.

* I was sat reading Spike Milligan's 'Where have all the bullets gone' book, when I heard a knock at the door - I got up too quickly again, lost balance and went over, knocking me knee and elbow on the way down (no doubt doing the arthritis in the knee a lot of good), struggled up, treading on the packet of rice crackers I'd knocked off the table as I went down, and bursting it open making such a mess, I got to the door, but could see no one there.

Monday 16th Jan 2012:
* No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, had one occurred that had taken affect at a later time, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. (I think)

Tuesday 17th Jan 2012:
* No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, had one occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. (I think)]

Wednesday 18th Jan 2012:
* Excelled myself today, went upstairs and stood trying to remember why - gave up, came downstairs, remembered, returned upstairs and again stood trying to remember why. Downstairs again. Still a mystery.

* Put the oven on, and went to food shop, returned, and placed potatoes in the nicely heated oven - forgot I'd got my gloves on! Antiseptic cream utilised once again.

Thursday 19th Jan 2012:
* In an effort to avoid my taking the morning medications for night medications and visa-versa, I bought (Pound Shop) some tiny food containers, one lot with blue lids for evening, and one lot with green lids for morning medications, and proceeded to place doses in the plastic box's, keeping one does ahead. Pleased with myself with this, what I thought wonderfully helpful idea, I was well pleased with myself. Of course, with all these rare imaginative ideas bumbling about in my head, I forgot to take the morning medications!

* Went to the shop to get some nosh in, just in case my visit to the hospital tomorrow takes longer than scheduled (overnight). Got home, and then returned to the shop, where I'd left my card in the machine at the check-out, luckily it was still there!

Friday 20th Jan 2012:
* Today, I had two appointments at the QMC, dermatology, then admission into cardiac ward.
The dermatologist Dr Cohen (nice chap, very communicative and polite) said after examination, that I was a 'Medical Conundrum'.
He arranged for a biopsy on the affected parts of the skin - then realised I was on Warfarin, and on my last level of Warfarin test, I was on 3.8%, which was too high to risk any surgery at the moment. He sent me to the blood unit to have eight vials of blood taken to be tested. Then prescribed some Globetasol cream for the hands.
Then he cancelled my Cardiac visit due to the high level.
Now I await an appointment to test levels, to see if I can safely attend another appointment to take a sample for analysis from my hand, to find out what the scabs actually are.
On the return home on the bus, I realised I'd left my bag with all the stuff needed for the cancelled admission in the waiting area at one of the clinics I'd visited. Sod it!

* Again I went into the kitchen, and stood a while hoping in vain for my visiting the kitchen might come back to me - nothing came.

Saturday 21st Jan 2012:
* Forgot to turn off water heater for 21 hours - that will please the electricity company no end - I'm already struggling to pay off the last bill!

* Tried once again to sort out how to cancel the accidentally activated alarm on the digital radio - now I've lost all my pre-set stations!

* Fell asleep, awoke to the almost usual smell of burning (again). Managed so salvage the saucepan, of course the mushy peas were cremated.

Sunday 22nd Jan 2012:
* Got up early (0330hrs), went up to the WC, stubbing toe on the way up the stairs, as the light bulb blew, felt my way to the bathroom,banging left elbow on the bannister, pulled the cord to put the light on, and realised as it illuminated the room, that I'd left the tap running on my last visit!

* No further Senior Moments to report for today, unless of course, had one occurred that had taken affect at a later time, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. (I think)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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