Written by justme
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Tuesday, 10 January 2012

image for A little bit of magic Pulled out and ready to go

I was at a party and I happened to tell someone that I'm interested in magic.

About ten minutes later an attractive woman approached me and began talking.

She said she knew all about cards and tricks, but the music was loud and I didn't hear her say cards, just tricks.

She grabbed my hands and said it was good my fingernails were neat and clean.

I thanked her.

She told me she does lots of tricks and asked if maybe I had seen her in action.

I said no, not yet.

She said some people were really sloppy when they did tricks, but she practiced in front of the mirror a lot and the audience was always amazed when she performed.

I wanted to ask what it was like having an audience, but she interrupted me.

She was on a roll now and really quite drunk, I realized.

She was not listening to me at all.

She said she used to read about how to do tricks, but found she had to adjust her finger positions because her hands are kind of fat.

She showed me her hands.

I told her I didn't know what she meant by finger positions.

Then I learned she had practiced with friends and family before turning pro.

She spoke about props and how you should use reliable equipment that looks good, does the right job, and will last a long time.

I told her I don't usually use props.

She frowned and thought about that for a second.

She said she can't give any details about her tricks because she is sworn to secrecy.

I told her I had a pretty good idea how she did them.

She frowned again.

Told me she loves working with kids.

I was going to ask how old the kids were, but she was off again and saying how important it is to relax and smile and look as though you are enjoying yourself, even when things get really screwed up.

I told her my wife was good at that.

She paused, and | thought she might be finished.

But then she said how she talks louder and faster at the climax of a trick (and here she's almost yelling at me), and that she always leaves the audience wanting more.

I told her she seemed to know a lot and asked her how long she had been working professionally.

She said, five years, but for the first few years hardly anyone would come.

Now I was certain she had been pulling my leg the whole time, because she really was quite pretty, and though her hands were fat they were also soft and smooth.

I bet her she had never done any tricks.

She smiled, grabbed a deck from thin air and said, pick a card, any card…

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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