As a special service to our premium subscribers, Northwest NewSmash is pleased to release the top predicted headlines for 2012:
1. Sasha and Malia - The President's Kenyan Child Brides? - Orly Taitz Demands Birth Certificates
2. Republican Candidates Pledge: Human Life Begins At Conception; Human Rights End At Birth
3. 'War On Poverty' Declared Over - Poverty Wins
4. Ron Paul Wins - Promises To Auction Presidency To Highest Bidder
5. Plans Approved For 'Trump White House And Casino'
6. President Trump To Appoint Herman Cain As Ambassador To Uzbeki-Beki-Stan-Stan-Stan
7. Controversial Talk Radio Personality Uses Meditation To Find Compassionate Inner Self, Then Kills It
8. Occupy Sesame Street - Oscar Takes Over Miss Piggy's Garbage Can
9. Lawmakers Seek To Define Unnatural Sex Acts As Anything They Can't Get Their Wives To Do
10. As Olympics Security Budget Threatens To Reach 1 Billion Euros, Organizing Committee Considers Paying Terrorists To Stay Home
Happy New Year from your friends at Northwest NewSmash!