Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Thursday, 19 January 2012


Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure.
11:20 a.m.

Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife.
11:24 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Look here Ricky, I am not going to play games with you. Just because you're a big Texas rancher and you have lots of cattle does not mean that you can make fun of the fact that I used to have a reputation for being a womanizer.
11:27 a.m.

Rick Perry: Newt, if you're still upset because Ron Paul said that you look like Captain Kangaroo or because Mitt Romney said that you look like the Pillsbury Doughboy, or because Vice-President Joe Biden said that you look like a Cabbage Patch Doll then take it up with them okay fella.
11:31 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Joe Biden said that I looked like a Cabbage Patch Doll?
11:38 a.m.

Rick Perry: Yeah, he said that to Barbara Walters when he appeared on The View. He also told her that you used to have a lisp just as bad as hers but that it went away once you switched over from Johnny Walker Red to Johnny Walker Black.
11:46 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Okay. I hear ya Rick. Maybe you and I can get together down in Austin sometime soon and make plans to kick "Old Mittens" butt. I swear Romney keeps getting more arrogant, sarcastic, and belligerent by the day.
11:49 a.m.

Rick Perry: Ditto Fig Newton old boy. And We'll certainly make arrangements for you to get your big, fat ass down to Texas and I'll have the little woman barbecue us some fajitas.
11:55 a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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