Written by Proffitt

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Thursday, 15 December 2011

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Google have released their top 10 searches for this year. Go on try them.

Top 4 'Do we' searches and results:
1. Do we have free will? (No - most will writing services charge a tidy sum)

2. Do werewolves exist? (Yes - Richard Keys ex Sky TV presenter is one)
3. Do we have a soul? (Yes - provided you are black)
4. Do weight loss pills work? (No - look around you for God's sake)

Top 4 'What is' searches and results:
1. What is my ip? (It's what your legs are attached to)
2. What is my ip address? (www.middleofbody.com)
3. What is the time? (Time you bought a watch)
4. What is the minimum wage? (£2.00 a day if you are an illegal immigrant)

Top 4 'Can you' searches and results:
1. Can you run it? (Depends how far as I have asthma)
2. Can you get pregnant on your period? (No - Provided you stand while having sex)
3. Can you freeze cheese? (Yes - but eating it afterwards is another thing)
4. Can you get mono twice? (No - it's like chicken pox)

Top 4 'How' searches and results:
1. How I met your Mother (She was on the street corner wearing a short skirt and no panties...)
2. How to write a CV (just put you were an astronaut but you got space sick a lot)
3. How to make it in America (open a fast food joint - they lap it up there)
4. How to tie a tie (over, under, across, down and pull - easy)

Top 4 'Who' searches and results:
1. Who followed me? (Probably one of the many undetected mass murders seeking a victim)
2. Who's laughing now? (The man who laughs longest)
3. Whoopi Goldberg (Designer of the Jewish fart cushion)
4. Who wants to be a millionaire (TV show that has been on telly 13 years too long)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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