Written by Michael Balton
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Tuesday, 13 December 2011

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New York -- Over 74% of Americans believe that the nation is "off on the wrong track," according to a recent survey conducted for The Wall Street Journal and NBC News.

The pessimistic figure is the worst since October 2008, when 78% said that the country is headed in the wrong direction.

But the trick here is not to dwell in the past, but to look ahead and identify forthcoming signals that it's time to become a Canadian.

Here then are the 10 future signs the nation is headed in the wrong direction:

1. China perfects the Occupy Wall Street concept, then renames New York's financial district Chinatown.

2. NASA gets out of space exploration business and buys a carpet steaming franchise.

3. Your daughter changes her name to Snooki.

4. Citibank outsources its call center work to the Taliban.

5. They install "Tips" jars in Congress.

6. Lady Gaga starts to look like a viable presidential candidate.

7. You trade in your car for a meatball sub.

8. Alec Baldwin gets 6 to 10 after answering the question: "What's in your wallet?"

9. The federal government bans texting while thinking.

10. Donald Trump.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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