Written by Rob Barratt
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Tags: Pensions

Monday, 12 December 2011

image for When I'm Sixty-Eight (song for a public sector workers' musical) pension

When I'm Sixty-Eight by Rob Barratt

(With a nod to Paul McCartney)
Sing to The Beatles "When I'm Sixty-four" (Hum clarinet intro...)
Doodley dum dum, doodley dum, de doo de dada doo de dop-um-bum...
1.When I get older, losing my mind
I'll still have to teach

Propped up in the corner on me zimmer-frame
Arthur-itis giving me pain

Thirty-five children climbing the walls
Won't it just be great?

Will they respect me?
Or will they reject me?
When I'm sixty-eight

2.When I get older losing my mind
I'll still have to nurse

Medication, lifting, lots of TLC
How's it possible when I need a wee?

Doing my rounds with a limp and a stick
Forgotten by the State

The bosses want data
I'll need a rollator
When I'm sixty-eight

(middle 8)
Every winter I'll get stiff and snotty but I'll have to work
I will get the flu
I shall scrimp and save...
No pension yet for me
Just...an...ear...ly...grave
(hum clarinet bit-da doody doody doody, bum bum, toot toot, dada dada..)
3. When I get older, losing my mind
I'll still be a paramedic

Zooming through the traffic with me flashing lights
Facing danger, carnage and fights

How can I still be on top of my job?
I can't keep up the pace

How can I turn yer
When I've got a hernia
When I'm sixty-eight
(Hum clarinet outro...)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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