Written by j.w.
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Monday, 5 December 2011

image for West Ham: An Apology! Tevez and Beckham on and off

The bitter blow on Saturday which led to a West Ham defeat, when they could have led the Championship was my fault. At least, partially.

News of the bombshell about Beckham and Tevez joining West Ham next season, if we got into the Premier League, was hacked by an unknown Spurs fan. Fearing a debacle next season when Scott Parker might also re-join the Hammers this individual then informed the West Ham team of the news before the match against Burnley and, as a result, those fearing they would lose their places in the team if Becks and Tevez joined us, decided being in the team in the Championship was better than not playing at all.

West Ham players should not be worried. Beckham has hardly got 90 minutes in his legs. A couple of spot on centres or free kicks resulting in goals and he would be replaced. As for Carlos - he would be on a world tour most of the time, only returning to trounce Manchester City.

Big Sam Allardyce smiled when I told him the facts. 'We will be winning our matches from now on, don't fear. The team have been given your news and are ready to move to the top of the League. Promotion is within our grasp.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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