Written by Flexicon
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Tags: Paris

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Please join me each day as I reveal the words and phrases guaranteed to keep you single for a whole year. Sourced directly from the world's finest internet dating profiles, Your Daily Flexicon is the essential guide for the online dater, or indeed anyone who has a thing for typos, malapropisms and plane baad speling.

Here's one for all you avid explorers:

"I love visiting new towns and checking out all the nooks and grannies."

'Nooks' and 'grannies'. Hmm ... two words you don't really want to see together.

Putting that imagery aside for a moment, let's pretend you're on a date with this guy and he's whisked you off to Paris. (Pretend hard.)

Now, bearing in mind his granny fetish, where do you think he's most likely to want to go first: the Champs Elysees for a spot of shopping, or the Hall de Bingo?

A romantic stroll along the Seine, or tea and cards at the Club du Bridge?

I think you get the idea, oui?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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